


Bright Ideas

by LeftyTreble



Series: Songs and Ideas [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-15 23:48:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 39,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11816766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeftyTreble/pseuds/LeftyTreble
Summary: It's been years since Ryan last saw her, nearly seven years since she destroyed the last pieces of his life, the pieces that she had missed on her first few attempts. Now, Ryan had all but forgotten about her and the betrayal that stabbed at his mind whenever he had thought of her. Ryan was now part of a successful crew that hadn't let him go within a month or two. Of course, Ryan always found a way to get sucked back into his past, and even though it had taken seven years this time, his memories came crashing back into his mind when he ran into, who else but, Meg Turney. Years upon years of memories both good and bad envelop Ryan as he struggles to move past what happened all those years ago. Can he ever truly forgive what happened? And will forgiveness even matter, when the future is no longer a certainty?





	1. Chapter 1

# Chapter 1

#    


### 

_“Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven”  
-Tryon Edwards _

### 

__

____

“Do you suppose that’s a good idea Ryan?”  


“Of course not, but what other choice do we have at this point, Gavin?”  


“Yeah Gav, we’re definitely open to ideas, besides Rye-bread and I got this, we’re the best at this sort of thing.  


“Michael’s not wrong Gavin, and so far Ryan has had the best idea so far, maybe hear it out before you go shooting it down.”  


Ryan turned away from the team and peered off the edge of the building to the warehouse below, its entrance gently lit up by the street lamps outside. He breathed out and noted the fogginess of his breath, it had gotten a lot colder since they came to the stake-out site. The clouds above moved slowly, covering the majority of the stars that the light pollution of the city didn’t already. He was tired. He alone had set up virtually the entirety of this heist, but now, most, if not all of his plans went to shit, because of the paranoid owner of the warehouse. He didn’t blame the guy, the contents of his warehouse could be worth hundreds of millions. He also didn’t blame Gavin for doubting his last minute plan. Geoff was called away by important business mere hours before, technically leaving Jack in charge, but he passed leadership to Ryan, the original planner. Now they stood, armed, on a rooftop half an hour behind schedule, due to the trucks unwillingness to leave. Gavin used one hand to fiddle with his dog tags as he held his sights on the roof of it, ready to fire a tracking round. Both he and Ryan hoped that they wouldn’t notice, but the truck needed to be on and moving to minimize the sound it might make on impact. As far as Ryan knew, what they were after was to stay in the warehouse, but they couldn’t risk the possibility of it leaving on the truck.  


“So, while Michael and I are inside, Gavin, you provide overwatch, and Jack, you’re going to follow the truck on bike,” Ryan paused to make sure everyone understood, and to make sure Gavin didn’t interrupt him after his first sentence again, “If we find the package, then you can return to base Jack, but otherwise we’ll come to you via the chopper.”  


“Why can’t I just go in the chopper?” Jack asked.  


“Too conspicuous, besides, it’ll be easier to take out targets if you’re on the ground. If we can search through everything quickly enough, you might only have to deal with the people in the truck, instead of the personnel at the secondary warehouse.”  


“Besides, I’ve already contacted Adam and Bruce, they should be arriving in a helicopter in less than an hour.” Michael added  


“Yeah, so you just need to inform them of your position once they radio in, they can provide you cover until we arrive.”  


“Ryan,” Gavin spoke suddenly, “We’ve got movement from the warehouse, they just put something in the truck.”  


“Alright, just make sure you get that tracker, Michael, let’s head down into the alley, once they leave we’ll move in.” Ryan said, moving towards the ladder.  


Arriving at the bottom, Ryan saw the truck begin to leave, as it turned the corner, he saw a spark fly from the roof, Gavin had hit them. The truck didn’t slow down, and Ryan breathed a sigh of relief. Not five seconds later, before Ryan could signal Michael to move in, he saw a  
shadow fly around the corner of the building and into the warehouse.  


“Holy shit, did you see that Michael?” Ryan said, squinting his eyes.  


“No, what happened?” Michael asked, puzzled.  


“It looks like someone just ran inside that warehouse, they were quick though, so I couldn’t really get a good look.”  


“Shit, you think someone else is moving in on this place too?”  


“Wouldn’t surprise me, but I don’t think anybody knows about what we’re after, they might just be after miscellaneous equipment to pawn off.”  


“What do you think we should do then?”  


“Let’s move in anyway, keep your guard up, no honor among thieves, you know?”  
Silently, they both creeped up to the warehouse, watching carefully for any movement around them. Once they had reached the door, Ryan signaled for Michael to watch his back while he peered in. When he opened the door, he heard grunts and the sounds of blows impacting upon people. He squeezed his head through the crack and looked around, he saw a figure in all black running around atop crates and random equipment, every now and then jumping down to apply a swift blow to a guard. The guards were in a panic looking around to no avail before being struck down one by one by the majestic figure and its rapid movements, “Alright Michael, let’s go in, I’ve got my pistol trained on the person I saw earlier, we can begin searching through these crates near the southern wall, I don’t think they’ll see us, we can deal with them once they’ve taken care of the rest of guards.”  


“Holy shit,” Michael hissed, “are they taking out all the fucking guards?”  


“Yeah, and they seem too preoccupied with that to focus on us, so get to searching, I’ll watch your back for now.”  


“Alright,” Michael said, as he began opening the crates.  


Over the comms Ryan heard Gavin’s voice, “Ryan, I can see a crate marked RTL through one of the windows, maybe that has the package?”  


“Good eye, Gav, where exactly is the crate?”  


“It looks to be near the center of the warehouse closer to the western wall.”  


“Shit, alright, thanks Gav.” Ryan said.  


“What’s up Rye?”  


“Gavin says there’s a crate marked RTL near the center of the warehouse.”  


“So let’s go get it then!”  


“That’s where that ninja person is though, and I can’t guarantee she won’t wanna take us out too.” Ryan said, puzzling over their next move.  


“I got it Rye, I brought a tranq gun,” Michael said smugly, pulling his rifle from behind his back and holstering his pistol.  


“Excellent, take them out while I distract them, I can hear them cracking crates open too, so I think the guards are taken care of.”  


“Perfect.”  


Ryan stepped around the corner of the giant crate and was greeted by a fist flying towards him. He tumbled forwards and rolled so that he returned to his feet. Before he could say anything, the figure flew at him and threw more punches, this time Ryan saw them coming and deflected most of them, with an odd one here or there catching him in the abdomen, he was going to feel that tomorrow. Behind the figure, he saw Michael taking aim, he continued to deflect until he saw Michael nod his head. Without missing a beat, Ryan fell backwards into a roll, clearly surprising his attacker, he heard the rifle fire, and the tranq hit the person in the back. They flinched, and also without missing a beat reached around and pulled the tranq out, throwing it at Ryan in one swift motion. Before Ryan could react, the tranq stuck him in the hand. He managed to pull out the tranquilizer quickly enough that he wasn’t too woozy, but he saw the shadowed figure run towards the exit before collapsing right in front of the door. Ryan smiled and fell onto his back unconscious.  


***

  


When Ryan woke up, he felt a slight tug on one of his hands, shaking off the drowsiness of the tranquilizer, he saw the person attempting to tie his hands to one of the racks that held small crates. He looked at the figure, and they jumped back in surprise, Ryan managed a kick at their abdomen, and they fell backwards reeling from the impact. Ryan tore off the rope which had still not been properly tied and stood up, reaching for his pistol, finding an empty holster instead.  


“Jesus Rye,” the figure spoke getting up on all fours trying to stand once again, “I see you’ve been keeping at that combat training.”  


“Wait,” Ryan said, tilting his head in awe at the voice that spoke to him, “Meg?”  


“Yeah Rye, it’s me, or should I call you Vagabond?”  


“What the hell are you doing here Meg?” Ryan asked as he began walking around Meg.  


“You know, just passing through on my way out,” She responded walking in a similar arc to Ryan, “I heard there was some pretty neat stuff in here, expensive stuff.” She smiled.  


“Fair enough, now why did you attack me, it’s not like I’m wearing a mask, you knew who I was!” He said incredulously.  


“Well, I was just surprised is all,” Meg said as she slowly changed direction and walked towards Ryan, “I didn’t expect… to… see,” She whispered as she got closer.  


“Before you continue,” Ryan said, holding a knife up to Meg’s throat, interrupting her, “Remember that I know most of your tricks, so back off.” Meg obeyed and held her hands up smiling smugly, revealing a knife in her right hand.  


“Jesus, were you really going to stab me?” Ryan said, hurt.  


“Oh, please,” Meg said, sarcastically, “When has stabbing you ever worked?”  


“That doesn’t mean that it won’t hurt like a bitch, now, how abo-” He stopped suddenly, “Where’s Michael?” He shouted at Meg gently pushing the knife against her.  


“He’s outside, I knocked him out when he came to check on me, I was gonna hide him but a bullet almost hit me, so I ran back in here, I was going to use you as a hostage to get out of here,” She said chuckling through her mask..  


Gavin’s probably taking care of Michael out there, Ryan thought to himself. “Alright Meg, well, I’m going to let you go, I’ll radio Gav, and tell him to let you out, I need to go and find what we came here for.”  


“Wait, I need to find what I came for too!” She said back.  


“Fuck, what are you looking for?” Ryan said, annoyed.  


“The RTL drive, I’ve heard it’s going for millions, and I need a retirement fund.”  


“No, you see… We’re also after the drive…” Ryan said, realizing this may not be ending the way he intended, “So you go ahead and leave and we’re going to take the drive to our buyer,” he said motioning towards the door.  


“Fuck you,” Meg said before rushing Ryan.  


“Hold the fuckin’ phone!” Michael shouted from the door, holding his rifle up.  
Meg stopped and sighed. She held her arms up in defeat before smiling smugly. “Another time perhaps?” She chuckled again. A moment of silence passed and she bolted towards Michael, jumping gracefully onto a forklift by his side, and over his head out the door. Michael had reacted quickly but the dart still missed , sticking into a crate near Ryan.  


“Fuck, sorry Rye!” Michael apologised putting his rifle down and putting a hand to his head.  


“It’s alright Michael, she shouldn’t be a problem anymore, let’s go get this damn drive.” Ryan said, turning for the crate.  


“Hey Ryan!” Gavin shouted running into the warehouse.  


“What’s up Gavin?”  


“Who was that chick that just ran away? I saw her dragging Michael out and took a warning shot at her earlier.”  


“Just… An old acquaintance…” Ryan whispered, turning his attention towards the crate marked RTL. “Did you ever hear from Jack, Gavin?”  


“Yeah, he just started heading back because the truck offloaded its cargo, turns out it was just some parts for machinery, no electronics.”  


“Alright, then I think there's a pretty good chance that the drive is in this crate,” Ryan said.  


“Awesome, let’s get it and get out of here then,” Gavin said nervously, “I don’t wanna deal with anymore weirdos attacking us.”  


“Yeah, I’m okay with that, believe it or not,” Michael said, smiling widely.  
Ryan pried the crate open with a crowbar and looked inside. He smiled and reached in, pulling out a small cube about three inches wide. “Looks like we found it boys,” Ryan said, turning on comms so Jack could hear him too.  


***

  


“Hey guys, what’s up?” Geoff said opening the door as Ryan and the rest walked up.  


“Not much Geoff, here,” Ryan said tossing the cube towards Geoff, “we brought you a present.” He chuckled lightly.  


“Holy shit guys, great job, this will feed us for years!” Geoff said sarcastically.  


“Oh yeah, and I figure, if we take some more jobs like this, we’ll be set for life!” Jack announced ecstatic.  


“Absolutely, but uh, I do have a question for you four…” Geoff spoke, hesitantly.  


“Yeah?” Everyone else said in unison.  


“How do you guys feel about splitting our earnings six different ways?”  


“What the fuck? Your daughter isn’t joining us is she?” Michael laughed.  


“No, here… I want you guys to meet, Meg Turney!” Geoff said slowly escalating his voice and holding his arms out as a young woman walked out into view.  


“Hey guys! I look forward to working with you!” The young woman said extending her hand out. Everybody took her hand and shook it one by one, everyone except Ryan. He stared at Geoff, then at the young woman, then at Geoff again.  


“Fuck no!” Ryan shouted, shoving past everyone and into the office.  


“Ryan, what the fuck?” Geoff shouted after him, giving Meg an apologetic look as he walked in behind Ryan.  


“Why did you hire this chick Geoff?”  


“She showed up a couple hours ago and gave a pretty convincing 'resume’,” Geoff said, making air quotes with his fingers, “that, and she name dropped quite a few of some of my old contacts, namely Gus and Burnie. She’s perfect Ryan! I figured I’d introduce you guys and we could go on the next mission together to get a feel for the new dynamic!” Geoff said, enthusiastically.  


“Geoff, I know her already, I can’t work with her, It’s never gone well in the past, and I don’t see it going well now!” Ryan hissed.  


“Well, too fuckin’ bad Ryan, because she is staying, and you’re just gonna have to learn to live with it.” Geoff said more sternly, giving Ryan a cold glare.  


“Fine!” Ryan shouted fuming the entire way up to his room. What the hell was he going to do?  
Ryan flopped backwards onto his bed tossing his earpiece and dogtags onto the table across the room as he did so, the bed giving a satisfying fwoomp as he landed. He held his hand up to his head as he thought deeply about his situation. The idea of leaving Fake AH occasionally popped into his mind, amidst thoughts of Meg, the drive, and even his old life. His fingers pinched at his brow, hoping to ease the oncoming headache from the unorganized thoughts swimming through his head endlessly. Suddenly there was a knock at the door, he opened one eye and stared at his door. He knew it was probably Geoff, ready to lay into him about being so rude to someone who was, technically, a guest.  


"Ugh," he groaned loudly, "come in Geoff! Just... Don't expect me to apologize okay? There's a lot of things you don't kn-" Ryan was interrupted by Meg peering into his room, a hand on the door, and a solemn look on her face.  


"Sorry to bug you Rye... I just think maybe we should talk about stuff, seeing as how we're going to be working together from now on..." She said meekly, walking fully into the room with a hand on her arm, almost apologetically.  


"Hmm, yeah sure," Ryan said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, "because it's not like this is the millionth time we will be working together right? The millionth time that you leave for something more 'lucrative'. The millionth FUCKING time that you will have lied and left me behind for your own selfish reasons right? I can totally trust that what you are doing now, isn't a move to try and get rich, and then bail out, dooming everyone else. After all, it's not like last night you said you were 'on your way through'. On your way through to where, exactly? Right back somewhere near me, so you could take advantage again?" He shouted, loud enough that, were there anybody on this floor, they most certainly would have heard it.  


"Well then..." Meg responded quietly, "I didn't expect you to be so... So worked up, about this..."  


"How could I not be 'worked up', when every single time I decide to trust you again, you turn your back on me and everything else?"  


"Because, Rye, I truly am sorry about everything..."  


"Oh, give me a fuc-"  


"Ryan!" She shouted, turning her head down after realizing how loud she had been, " I  
didn't know that you would be at the warehouse last night, but... You being there, gave me a chance to apologize, so I pulled a couple favors, and I found out about Geoff, and the rest of Fake AH. I came in and talked to Geoff, and he offered me a job, I was honestly just planning on asking about you, but I decided to go for it."  


"Why don't you just apologize and get it over with then? You don't need to stick around any longer than you want to."  


"Well then, I'm sorry... But, I'm telling you right now, I'm sticking around for the work, whether you like it or not." She said, standing up straight, looking Ryan dead in the eyes.  


"Really? For the work huh? And this isn't going to turn into some sort of 'steal Fake AH's shit and run off to sell it all to the highest bidder just to live comfortably for a few years' is it?"  


"Ryan, I get it ok? You don't like me, and I completely understand that you don't trust me as a friend, or even a stranger, but you have to trust me if we're going to be working together, and trust me, we are GOING to be working together." She said standing firm, disobediently even. For a moment, Ryan sat still, staring at the woman that stood before him, she was no longer wearing the skin-tight, all black suit she wore last night. She wasn't wearing a mask anymore, he could see her face, and her beautiful purple eyes, which almost glowed behind the slight glare of her glasses. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, and her lips quivered as she bit the inside, giving her an angry look that was still somehow cute. Streaks of dark brown hair fell on either side of her face, gently flowing down her shoulders, Ryan noted the damage of her hair, probably from all the times that she had dyed it in the past. His eyes wandered down and he noticed her slender hourglass frame, her hips were a bit wider than he remembered from years ago. Although she was no longer wearing her 'ninja suit', she was now wearing yoga pants, and her legs were wonderfully displayed thanks to them. She wore a loose blouse with a cat on it that hung down below her waistline, when she had her arms lowered, the left side would droop down her arm. Her skin looked soft, and Ryan couldn't help but stare at her shoulder. He started to feel warm in the face.  


"Ryan?" Meg said leaning down slightly trying to meet Ryan's gaze. He jumped back, his face now getting warmer than before.  


“Y-yeah, whatever, sure…” He said nervously.  


***

  


That night, Ryan’s thoughts swirled endlessly as he tried to sleep, hours passed, but his mind never calmed enough to let him rest. He tossed and turned, and when he caught a glimpse of his clock, he sighed. It was thirty minutes to midnight. Again he tossed and turned, but was interrupted by a knock at the door, a very light knock at his door. Ryan slowly sat up and reached for his pistol, he took steady aim at the door and relaxed his breathing, suddenly the door creaked open, and he dared not stand up, only hold his gun up at the door. Meg peaked her head in, and Ryan relaxed.  


“Rye?” She whispered.  


“What do you want Meg?” He groaned.  


“I, uh, well…” She stepped fully into the room, and Ryan noticed her red babydoll dress, playing in the dim moonlight that filtered through his blinds, “I’m having trouble sleeping, and was wondering… If i cou-” She stopped when Ryan lifted the sheets of his bed and sighed. She clapped her hands playfully and ran over. She laid down, and stared at Ryan for a long time.  


“What?” Ryan said, blushing now.  


“Nothing, it’s just… can I lay on your chest?” Meg whispered, also blushing.  


“Ugh,” Ryan let out a groan, “fine!” and he slipped his arm under Meg pulling her close to him. His heart began to beat faster once she laid her head on his chest, her warm breath gently caressing his skin. If he couldn’t get to sleep before, now it was going to be impossible. What the hell was he going to do?


	2. Chapter 2

# 

Chapter 2

#    


### 

_“Love the giver more than the gift”  
-Brigham Young ___

###  ____  


When Ryan woke up, Meg was no longer in bed, he shielded his eyes from the bombardment of light that screamed through his window, _she opened my fucking blinds _, he thought. He slowly got up and slipped on his shoes, getting up to shut the blinds. As he began to walk back to sleep some more, Meg walked in. Now she wasn’t wearing the babydoll, now, it was sweatpants and a tank top that revealed her sports bra underneath. The tank top was white, and the sports bra was a very vibrant shade of pink, with purple accents here or there, at this point, if he tried hard enough, he could see through her tank top. He looked up at her eyes, and gave her a questioning look.  
__

__“I hope you’re not planning on going back to sleep, Rye,” She said coldly.  
_ _

__“Why wouldn’t I?” He asked.  
_ _

__“Because, we’re having a meeting and you don’t want to be the last one there, do you?”  
_ _

__“I’m okay with that.”  
_ _

__“Hmm, no, no you’re not,” She said as she stepped over and opened the blinds, letting light through once more.  
_ _

__“Fuck off, why not?” He said, anger building in his throat.  
_ _

__“Because, this concerns you a lot!” She said cheerily and walked out the door.  
_ _

__He groaned as he walked out the door to his room, he had put on the shirt with the adorable pink cat, and his black and blue jacket over it. He put on his dark blue pants in favor of his black ones, since he figured it would be hot today. His shoes gave him a hard time as he walked, so he stopped to check the underside, a big glob of gum was stuck to the heel of his shoe. Judging by the color, it was spearmint, and judging by how far he was from his room, he figured that it was probably Meg’s. He flicked out his butterfly knife and scraped the globule of chewed plastic off his shoe, tossing it into the waste bin that Meg had clearly missed, he sighed and stomped his foot back down. Today, was going to be a long day.  
_ _

__At last when he reached the door into the conference room, he heard whispering coming from the inside, he hesitated. Ryan pressed an ear up to the door hoping to listen more closely, he heard only a garbled mess of sounds, harsh whispers, and attempts at shushing. He sighed loudly, hoping to announce his presence, and stepped through the door, eyes focused forward. As expected, confetti shot through the air and greeted his face, a balloon or two bounced off of him as he glared silently at everyone in the room. A few people had, now empty, confetti tubes, and party hats on, everybody else had an annoying mustache shaped trinket that whirred loudly when blown into. A noise somewhere between a groan and a sigh escaped Ryan’s mouth as he attempted to step backwards and return to his room for some more sleep. From behind, Meg ran up and shoved him inside towards the giant cake sitting on the table.  
_ _

__“Nice try, Rye!” She shouted smugly.  
_ _

__“Ugh, what’s going on Meg?” Ryan said, defeated.  
_ _

__“Well, as it turns out, these nice folks that you’ve been working with, for… six years now? Yeah, six years, they don’t know that it’s your birthday today!” She said hopping around and clapping her hands.  
_ _

__“That would be because,” He began, squinting his eyes and glaring at Meg, “it’s not my bi-”  
_ _

__“Nice try Rye,” Meg said cheerily, sneaking in a stare that threatened to burn a hole through Ryan, “but it is your birthday!”  
_ _

__“Why does it matter anyway? It’s just a birthday, not exactly something that’s necessary to know in our particular field of work!”  
_ _

__“Aw, c’mon Ryan! We just wanna celebrate, at least have some cake!” Meg held out her arms in the direction of the cake sitting on the kitchen table. It was a cake with a very light blue icing, small swirls of white icing adorned the top in a circular pattern. Along the bottom, a gently rolling wave of dark blue icing circled around the edge. Atop the cake there sat three number candles, numbered one, zero, and zero. He rolled his eyes at the tasteless and unfunny jab at his age, he was still well under forty, and wasn’t even the oldest member of the group, still he stepped forward, indulging Meg’s odd desire to have a party. He sighed as he blew out the candles, a thin line of smoke rising up and dissipating slowly. He looked at the knife next to the cake and proceeded to cut it. Turns out it was a vanilla ice cream cake.  
_ _

__Hours after the “party” had ended, Ryan laid on his bed reading a book, something called Gifts Ungiven, which at first glance seemed like just another shitty romance, though now, he was deep. He had been reading it for just a couple of hours and already, he couldn’t put it down. What finally disturbed him from his trance, was a loud knock on the door. Ryan put on his slippers, shaped like dogs, and walked to his door. Without asking who it was, he opened the door. Right as the door opened a foot hit him in the shin, and then it recoiled as Meg winced and jumped back slightly.  
_ _

__“Ow! What the hell?”  
_ _

__“Oh, Sorry Rye! I didn’t hear you coming to open the door so I was going to knock again!”  
_ _

__“Damn Meg, why are you kicking my door so hard anyway? Trying to knock it down with your damn foot?”  
_ _

__“No, sorry, it’s just, I was carrying this box, so I couldn’t use my hands, and I guess I kick harder than I think…”  
_ _

__“Alright, why are you bringing a box to me? Also, why is it wrapped in this really nice wrapping paper, and why does it have a bow on it? Why is there a tag that says 'Happy Birthday Ryan,' He said making air quotes, “this better not be what I think it is.” He finished.  
_ _

__“Geez, sarcastic much?” Meg said pushing past Ryan and stepping into the room.  
_ _

__“Meg, why did you get me a birthday present?”  
_ _

__“Because it’s your birthday? Man, you’re pretty dumb Ryan, even dumber than I thought, huh?”  
_ _

__“Meg… I don’t want this from you. I get that you want to get me to forgive you, or maybe even be your friend, but honestly, I want nothing to do with you. Even just remembering my birthday was too much, and I don’t even know what I was thinking last night letting you into my bed. Right now I just wanna focus on what our next job is going to be, so it can be over and done with, then you can go home, or wherever you’re going to go next, because I'm willing to bet you're not sticking around.” Ryan said, finishing his sentence as he got to his bed. When he turned around Meg’s head was pointed at the ground. He heard a slight sound as a tear hit the top of the wrapped present. Meg was crying, and it was Ryan that had made her cry.  
_ _

__“I-I understand Ryan…” She whimpered, trying to hide the catch in her throat. She stepped backwards through the door and made a turn to leave, dropping the present and running down the hallway, hands held to her crying face. Ryan could hear the distinct sound of footsteps going up the stairs. Once again a sigh escaped Ryan’s mouth, he had been sighing a lot lately. He took a few slow steps towards the box and knelt down in front of it. A slight tilt of the head later, he decided to pick up the massive box, and put it onto the bed, it turned out to be quite heavy. He gave one more tentative look, and decided to open up the present, feeling sorry for the ungrateful way he had grilled Meg.  
_ _

__“Holy shit, no way…” Ryan’s jaw dropped in excitement. Inside the box was a mask, bone white, and exactly the same as his heist mask, a skull. He lifted it out of the box, to find that the mask was actually decently heavy, it wasn’t malleable like the plastic skull mask he wore, and it was made of a metal that was cool to the touch. Right behind the mask a jacket sat folded, again, the same as his favorite jacket, though he suspected it was special just like the mask. His suspicions were confirmed upon lifting the jacket, it was heavy and the material felt more metallic than leather. He smiled at the new ensemble that would make him feel more like a juggernaut than he already was. He folded the jacket up again, and looked inside the box one more time, this time he saw a pistol, though it wasn’t just any pistol, it was the pistol that, presumably, Meg stole the night they encountered each other at the warehouse. He had all but forgotten about it until just now, he pulled it out of the box with both hands and gave it an inspection. Everything seemed to be working well, and upon giving it a closer look, he noticed a small engraving on the slide. It read simply “J.R.H Astra Inclinant, Sed Non Obligant” and on either side, elegant curls led to the end of the slide. He smiled gently and looked up at his ceiling, Meg’s room was directly above his, and he thought about the phrase she had put on his pistol. Astra Inclinant, Sed Non Obligant, The stars incline us, they do not bind us.  
_ _

__***_ _

_  
___  
  


Meg sat quietly on her bed, one leg folded beneath the other which hung over the edge, she moved it back and forth as she tried to think about her current position.  
Almost immediately after her encounter with Ryan two nights before, she had decided to make amends for all of the years before when she had, first of all, stabbed the knife into Ryan’s back, and then twisted it thereafter, over and over again. She had walked to her hideaway a short distance away, all the while turning the gun over in her hands, admiring the sleek black that reflected the moonlight. Once home, she pulled out a box from the closet in the back of the hideaway. Within she found an old dusty mask and a jacket, all previously meant to be gifts for Ryan, and now, following a series of her running away from her only friend, she knew it was time to finally deliver them, she held the jacket close and remembered that Ryan’s birthday was in a couple of days. She called up an old contact, Burnie Burns, asking if he knew anything about BM Vagabond, and arranged to meet with Geoff in just a few hours, she thanked him briefly, and ran for their offices. She had been there almost two hours when Ryan finally showed up with three other guys, clearly part of the “gang”. As they walked up into the building, Geoff explained how they had just gone on a heist the night before, and that if they were showing up this late, Michael, Gavin, and Jack had probably wanted to celebrate the success at a bar. Meg smiled to herself at the thought that, after all these years, Ryan still didn’t drink. An awkward encounter later, and Ryan was storming off to his room, leaving Meg to follow him up to explain, when that failed, she decided to head back down and talk to the guys.  


The next few hours were spent talking about how she knew Ryan before today. They had been partners a few times, and they always ended up breaking off the partnership over a difference of opinions, though she did leave out the part about backstabbing. She got to know each one of them a little more personally, and discovered that Jack and Geoff were the oldest of friends, and even though they were mean to each other, they were great friends. The other two, Michael and Gavin, definitely had some… “Unresolved feelings” towards each other, though she tried not to pry too much. They had all known Ryan for about six years, and despite that, they knew almost nothing about him, just that he was practically a super soldier. He had received excellent training in firearms, hand to hand combat, driving and piloting, and even battlefield tactics. Meg smiled, that much even she knew was true, she giggled, remembering the bruises they had given to each other when sparring, always painful, but always fun, being that close to Ryan. She found out that Ryan had never even divulged his birthday to the guys, none of them even knew how old he was exactly, though they correctly suspected his early thirties. That, and despite his seeming disinterest in birthdays, that he was known for giving gifts, lots of them, in fact, he had given everyone at Fake AH dogtags when he first joined. Meg found the gift part to be strange, but Ryan was known to be a weird dude, she just smiled and wondered if he’d ever come around and give her the same dogtags.  


Early in the afternoon, Meg went to meet with an old friend at a pawn shop, giddy with excitement at everyone’s eagerness to throw Ryan a birthday party. They had all helped with the planning, Geoff almost immediately sending for an ice cream cake to be delivered the next day. Gavin and Michael both went out for the party hats, confetti tubes, and mustache lip whistles. Knowing Ryan, he’d probably despise so much effort being put into a birthday party for him, but he would play along, even if it was only for a short while. She arrived at the shop and practically skipped up the the front desk.  


“Ah, hello there miss, how may I help you today?” A middle aged man standing behind the counter said.  


“C’mon Martin, drop the gentlemanly shopkeeper act, you said you could help me!” Meg said, pouting.  


“Haha, well then, let’s see the piece you wanted me to work on.”  


“Here it is,” Meg said reaching into her purse and pulling out the gun she had taken from Ryan the night before, “What do you think?”  


“Hmm, yeah, I think this could work, shouldn’t take me too long either, what did you want engraved on it?”  


Meg thought for a second, before finally deciding, “Put his initials on it, and then put ‘Astra Inclinant, Sed Non Obligant’ and maybe some pretty swirls on either side? I want it to be centered on the slide.”  


“Sure thing Meg, uh, what are his initials again?” Martin said smugly, giving Meg a wink.  


Meg blushed, “C’mon Martin, don’t make this weird.”  


“Of course, be back later tonight around eight and I should have it done.”  


“Thanks Martin,” Meg said, “I’ll see you later.”  


***

  


That night, Meg was restless. She was excited for the small party they had managed to throw together in a few short hours, but at the same time, she feared for what Ryan’s reaction might be to the over-the-top celebration, after all, he probably hadn’t celebrated his birthday in years. Meg hugged one of her pillows and rubbed her face into it, it didn’t feel the same as having a person, she thought she’d be used to the cold unfeeling pillows after all this time, as of last night however, she craved to feel a warm embrace, his warm embrace she thought, smiling. The pillow flopped down as Meg wriggled herself out of bed and swung her legs down to the floor, giving the box a slight kick as she did so. Her heart began to beat louder, the moment that she would finally give Ryan his gifts was fast approaching, and the closer it got, the more anxious she got. She inhaled deeply and tiptoed out of her room. Out in the halls of the building she could hear the faint sound of music and drunken babble. She quietly walked down the stairs to the floor that contained Ryan’s room, as well as several other rooms, all presumably empty. This was the fourth floor of the building, and as of just recently, one of many floors with only one occupant. Meg knew that Ryan liked to keep to himself, though he wasn’t always the lone wolf type. Her mouth quivered into a slight frown as she thought back to how things used to be. She slowly crept up to Ryan’s door and held her breath, would he start yelling at her again? No, maybe he wasn’t going to be upset anymore, she gave a meek knock and waited, Ryan didn’t answer and Meg assumed that he was just asleep, but she heard his bed creak ever so slightly, shit, he thinks I’m an intruder she thought. She exhaled and pushed the door open slowly, peeking her head into the room, as she thought, Ryan had his gun aimed right at her head. She whispered to Ryan, and before she knew it, they were in bed together, cuddling closer than they had in years. She could hear his heartbeat with her head on his chest, and her cheeks became warmer as time passed. Before long, Ryan’s breathing slowed and Meg knew he was asleep, she tilted her head up at him and stared longingly at his face. How long had it actually been since she was this close to him? She had almost forgotten what it was like to be in his arms, and now it seemed almost unreal, how had they gone from being at each other’s throats, to being in the same bed, within one night? Meg giggled, and stretched up to meet Ryan’s face, lightly, she pressed her lips on his, recalling how soft they had been years ago, and happy that they had not changed.  


***

  
Meg’s eyes snapped open, she looked around, her eyes adjusting to the red glow of the late afternoon sun in her room. Her clock read 6:43, Ryan’s party had been almost seven hours ago. She gave her head a shake and listened. Another light knock on the door, apparently the first had woken her up. When had she fallen asleep? She didn’t know. She got up to open the door, assuming that Geoff was going to give her some details on a heist or something.  


***

  
Ryan heard steps as Meg walked towards her door, his hand was still held up to her door, his knuckle floating impossibly close to the door. He heard a creak, _hinges need oil _, he thought, trying to distract his mind from what was about to happen. Meg’s face appeared and she was looking straight ahead. She had a quizzical look on her face as she slowly looked up to meet Ryan’s gaze. Her face became red and she looked down at the floor, Ryan was about to speak when Meg interrupted.__  


“I’m sorry Ryan, I know that you don’t like to celebrate your birthday, and I know that there’s a reason you chose not to tell your friends too much about yourself,” She began, “I know that me just being here is almost too much for you, and suddenly forcing myself into a very personal aspect of your life, was not smart. I just wanted to make amends for all the years of pain that I made you go through for my own selfish reasons. Now I understand how it must feel to have this backstabbing lunatic back in your life, trying to invade every little part of it,” She paused, but not long enough for Ryan to respond, “don’t worry about me trying to be a part of your life anymore, I’ll keep to myself for the next couple of weeks until we’re done with the job, and like you said, I probably won't be sticking around.”  


Ryan was taken aback by what Meg had just said, only earlier today she had seemed so happy to see him walking into the birthday trap, and now, here she was, the epitome of dejection, and it was all because of him. He frowned and reached a hand out to her face. Without thinking, he caressed her cheek, feeling her push her head gently into his hand, she opened her eyes and Ryan noticed tears welling up as she fought to restrain them. He smiled softly and put his hand behind her head, bringing his other hand to her lower back as he pulled her into a hug. Up until this point, Ryan had been in a constant struggle in his mind on whether or not to allow Meg back into his life, it had begun to drive him insane, and in his anger and confusion, he had dealt an incredible amount of pain onto Meg. He cursed himself for having been so needlessly cruel to her, and he squeezed Meg a little tighter as if willing her to forgive him.  


“I’m so sorry Meg, I guess I didn’t realize that I was making you feel as terrible as I was,” he murmured into the top of her head, “I just didn’t know if I wanted to forgive you for everything,” he paused feeling Meg’s arms wrap around him tightly, “at least, I didn’t until I saw your gift earlier, I remember you know?” He chuckled as Meg pulled back suddenly her face surprised.  


“Remember what?”  


“That day that you got me the mask, I was following you around that day… Saw you pick it up at Martin’s old shop up north.”  


“So… You knew that I had it the whole time? And that I didn’t give it to you?”  


“Of course, I didn’t expect… you know… But I still remember, I also know that you had that jacket made for me in like fucking Europe, that one I assume didn’t arrive until after… we ‘broke’ up.” Ryan mumbled, holding up air quotes.  


“Ryan… Why, why didn’t you ever say anything?”  


“I was upset… I figured if you actually cared about me, you’d give them to me anyway, but you never did, it said a lot when you just disappeared.”  


“Rye, I’m sorry about everything, I want you to know that I do care about you. I care more than my words can express right now!” She said reaching about to Ryan’s face.  


“I know that now Meg, I saw that fancy engraving on my gun,” Ryan said smugly, “Astra Inclinant, Sed Non Obligant, huh?”  


“Yeah, well, you said that to me one time when we-”  


“Went out to the forest on one of our first dates.”  


“Yeah,” Meg whispered looking at her hand, still on Ryan’s face. She blushed and tried to pull her arm back, but was stopped by Ryan’s hand, “Rye…”  


“It’s been a long time Turney.” He whispered inching his face closer to hers.  


“Rye, what are you-” She didn’t finish, Ryan’s lips were pressed against hers.  


Meg closed her eyes and she wrapped her arms around Ryan’s neck. He chuckled and began pushing himself into her room, forcing Meg to step backwards, until they reached her bed and collapsed onto it laughing. Their eyes met, and Ryan had to smirk at how Meg’s glasses were now lopsided on her face, he took them in his hand and placed them on the nightstand as best he could. Meg reached up to grab his face with both of her hands, biting her lip as she pulled him in for a kiss, much more intense than the one before. Ryan felt himself melt into the kiss as it lasted longer and longer, when out of nowhere, Meg twisted underneath him so that he ended up on the bed with Meg straddling him. She sat up on her knees and grabbed Ryan’s shirt from the bottom, pulling it up slowly over his head as he also sat up, Meg threw the shirt on the ground and quickly pulled her shirt off, sending it to an opposite corner of the room. She ran her fingers through Ryan’s hair as his arms wandered behind her back occasionally touching a sensitive spot, forcing a moan out of Meg, his lips left a trail from her mouth to her neck, making her breathe more heavily as he sucked gently on her sensitive skin. Ryan finally reached up to Meg’s bra and efficiently unhooked it, Meg let her arms fall down to her side, and Ryan picked up the bra placing it on his head. He smiled at her and Meg couldn’t help but giggle, she threw the bra in the same general direction as her shirt and kissed Ryan again, this time, he pulled away sooner, working a trail of sweet kisses down her neck and to her chest, ending at her breast and giving it a tender bite. Meg moaned loudly and scratched lightly at Ryan’s back, pulling him in closer, one of his hands on the small of her back, and the other squeezing her unoccupied breast, while his mouth played with the other. His tongue explored all of Meg’s chest but focused heavily on her nipple, flicking the tip of it occasionally, and also biting it softly on occasion to get more moans out of Meg, his hand squeezed and massaged the other breast, pinching the nipple between his thumb and index finger, seemingly never wanting to stop. Meg was approaching her limit, and Ryan knew it, he smiled smugly to himself and let go of her breast with his hand, caressing her bare skin as it worked its way down to her pants, he felt Meg flinch slightly as his fingers danced on the edge of her pants before sliding down further to repeat the dance on the edge of her panties. She gasped when his fingers rubbed slowly past her well kept pubic region, taking in every little touch as his hand worked slowly down farther and farther. At this point she had her arms around Ryan’s neck, and her face was buried in his neck, giving kisses and sensual bites. Ryan worked magic on her for a while before pulling his hand out and holding it up to Meg so she could see the shine on his fingers, she blushed and looked him in the eyes as he put his fingers and his mouth and sucked on them, giving her a smug expression before putting a finger out to her, for her to suck on. It was too much. She shoved Ryan down and stood up on the bed, undoing her pants and tossing them aside gracefully, she hopped off the bed and repeated the action with her heart print panties. She smiled at Ryan her face still red from what had just happened, and undid his pants as well. Before too long, his pants were on the floor as well and Meg had her hands wandering down his chest, teasing him exactly like he had just done. He breathed heavily and tried to hold his breath while Meg worked her way downward, giggling the entire time, until she got to what she was looking for. As he had done before, Meg only teased him for a while before licking her fingers clean and climbing up to kiss Ryan. This time, they kissed for much longer, exploring each others mouths with their tongues, and eventually Meg pulled back slightly and smirked at Ryan.  


“Looks like someone’s ready to go now,” she whispered reaching her hand down between them, “oh, looks like we better not keep him waiting,” she whispered again, more out of breath this time.  


“No, you really shouldn’t,” Ryan said giving her one last kiss before she sat up on him, hand on his chest, the other reaching down.  


***

  


Meg moaned loudly as she bounced on Ryan, her free breast bouncing as well, while the other was squeezed by Ryan’s hand, his other hand on her hip pulling her down roughly each time she lifted herself up. Ryan grunted with each thrust, repeating what he had done to her breast earlier, only now, he wasn’t worried about being gentle. Meg had her head tilted back and her eyes were held shut in ecstasy, she went on for a while before slowing down and looking down at Ryan, who now had both of his hand on her hips.  


“Round… Two?” She asked, breathing heavily.  


“You… Are… On!” Ryan said, chuckling slightly as Meg hopped off of him directly onto the bed.  
Meg was now on all fours her head close to the bed and arching her back, Ryan grabbed her roughly by the hips and pulled her closer to the edge of the bed, prompting a surprised ‘Oh!’ and giggle from Meg. He slid into her once more and this time, he was in control, he began to thrust, slowly but with power, and eventually built up speed, and before he knew it, he had Meg moaning again, her head tilted back again, her face flushed red. He grabbed her hair and pulled it, making sure not to actually hurt her, and he continued on thrusting. Occasionally Ryan bent over and grabbed at Meg’s breasts squeezing them, as though they provided him with energy to keep on going. Before too long, Meg was practically screaming.  


“Fuuuuuck, Ryan!” She moaned.  


“M-Meggg!” Ryan moaned back as he reached deep inside her.  


“Fuck me Ryan! Fuck me!” She shouted. “OH GOD, HARDER RYAN!”  


That was all Ryan needed, he pushed himself harder, attempting to reach deeper inside her than was possible. With each thrust, Meg’s moans became louder, and before Ryan could finish he felt her legs tense up as she buried her face in her sheets. Her legs quivered and spasmed as Meg climaxed, Ryan felt her tighten with each wave that ran across her entire body, and only seconds after, Ryan came as well, letting himself climax still inside of Meg. Meg collapsed to her side and spoke through her ragged breathing.  


“Shit Rye… That… Was amazing!”  


“For… You and me… both…” Ryan responded falling onto the bed behind her.  


“I forgot how great that felt after all this time…” She said turning so her face was level with his chest.  


“Yeah… It was pretty… Great,” Ryan said putting his arms around her, “It’s been so long.”  


Ryan squeezed Meg in close, he was afraid now, afraid that after so many years, this reunion would soon end, and he was determined to not let that happen. His fingers rubbed gently at her back, before too long, he realized that they should probably clean up, and he got up. He felt strange on his way to the bathroom in Meg’s room, he had only ever been up here once, an occurrence that he was sure, was never going to happen again, last time having been on account of something he wasn’t sure he wanted to remember. The door to the bathroom creaked, making Ryan’s jaw twitch, _maybe some oil for this one too… _He thought, stepping through the now open door and into the intentionally pink bathroom, not Meg’s doing, this had been there for years. He smiled and walked to the shower turning the squeaky knobs, dammit. As the he waited a moment for the shower to warm up a bit, he heard Meg rustling about with the sheets of her bed, he took a few tentative steps to the door and peeked out, Meg was still stark naked and was in the process of putting new sheets on the bed, the old ones discarded into the laundry basket. He cocked his head, taking a moment to realize what was going on, before he even had time to blush, Meg turned around, yelping, before realizing it was Ryan.  
__

__“Geez Rye, you look completely different with sex hair,” She said smugly.  
_ _

__“Hey, who are you? Where’s Turney?” He retorted sarcastically.  
_ _

__“Very funny, but guess what? My old sheets are a little dirty, and YOU get to wash them!”  
_ _

__“What, why do I get such a high honor?” He said even more sarcastically than before.  
_ _

__“Because Rye, it’s not my semen drippin-”  
_ _

__“HAPHAPHAP,” Ryan interrupted, waving a hand in the air, “Don’t wanna hear about it!”  
_ _

__“That’s what I thought, try to keep your ‘housemates’ from seeing it, unless of course, you enjoy being embarrassed by your sex life?”  
_ _

__“Whatever, I’ll take care of it… Anyway, the shower just finished heating up it seems,” He said, noticing the newfound warmth of the room, “Wanna… Hop in?” He said, imitating Meg’s earlier smugness.  
_ _

__“Hmm, I’ll consider it,” She said turning to adjust the sheets some more.  
_ _

__“Alright… Your loss!”  
_ _

__Before he had even stepped in the shower, Meg was stepping into the bathroom, taking the hair tie out of her loosely tied ponytail, well, now it was loosely tied, before their little ‘encounter’ it had been pulled taut on the back of her head, now, Ryan could see that it was barely even on her head, the tie hanging more near her neck now. He turned and pulled open the shower door, giving a mocking bow as he did so. The words my lady didn’t even escape his mouth before Meg leant over and gave him a peck on the cheek, she giggled and stepped in, waiting for Ryan to do the same. He shook off his slight embarrassment and stepped into the shower being greeted by the sudden icy shock that could only be cold shower water. He stepped back in surprise almost falling out of the shower, but managing to catch himself on the metal bar that clung to the wall. Meg giggled once more, and reached out, pulling Ryan closer to her.  
_ _

__“What the fuck Turney? This water is cold as hell!” He spat, shivering.  
_ _

__“I know, didn’t I mention that I liked cold water?”  
_ _

__Ryan thought back, she might have, a long time ago, but at this point he didn’t remember, nor was he even sure that he had. He shook his head no, and continued to shiver, trying to acclimate to the sudden change in his shower water’s temperature. He gave Meg a glaring look as she proceeded to wash herself, seemingly unfazed by the icy storm escaping from the shower head. He shrugged once before stepping forward into the grip of the practically frozen rain, as he did so he felt himself rub up behind Meg, and she gave a small gasp before reaching back to see if what she thought had touched her, had indeed, touched her. Ryan winced at her hand reaching back so suddenly giving him a very slight but still painful tap. She turned around immediately apologizing profusely and putting her arms on his chest, blushing as she did, Ryan couldn’t help but let out a chuckle as he reached up to hold her hands in his. He leant down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, which she happily returned, she kept murmuring an apology until Ryan interrupted her with a finger.  
_ _

__“Now now, you can apologize to me later,” He said trying his hardest to sound seductive without, also sounding like a fool. Meg blushed even more than she was, looking down and realizing, that probably wasn’t the best idea, she shot her head up, face now more bright than Ryan thought possible. He let out a small chuckle and ran his thumb across her cheek. She smiled weakly, before turning back around to continue cleaning, Ryan didn’t skip a beat before proceeding to also clean himself._ _


	3. Chapter 3

# Chapter 3 

###  _“I know that every good and excellent thing in the world stands moment by moment on the razor-edge of danger and must be fought for.”  
-Thornton Wilder_

“Alright team,” Geoff announced as Ryan walked in, “I’ve got good news, and bad news, now, it’s customary, and cliche, to ask which news you want first, but! I don’t give a fuck about that, so I’m starting with the good news! I’ve begun to set up our next heist and it should be all set up in a week or two. It looks to be an even bigger payoff than the drive, which we’re still waiting on our buyer to show up for, but I digress,” Geoff stopped when he saw Ryan sit next to Meg, a grin stretching across his face as Meg put her hand on Ryan’s, “now, that’s all well and good, but like I said, there is bad news. It isn’t usually easy to deliver bad news, and right now, I have to be honest with you guys… This is actually going to be pretty easy for me, cuz the bad news is that Meg and Ryan are bangin’!”  


Ryan jerked his head up just as he heard Meg gasp, and everyone else began to laugh, he looked at Geoff, whose grin seemed to reach impossibly around his face, the perfect teeth holding back a sinister chuckle. Michael clasped a hand on Ryan’s shoulder and when Ryan looked up, he gave him a wink before stepping out of the room to laugh more maniacally, Ryan felt his face get hot. He turned to Meg who now had her face in her hands, not upset, but clearly embarrassed by Geoff’s loud mouth, he stood suddenly giving Geoff a playful, but still hard, punch on the shoulder, He just broke out laughing and walked outside. Meg was up now too, and she had her hands on either side of her face as she walked out of the room trying to avoid eye contact with Jack and Gavin whose laughter was dying down as they began preparing beverages. He followed behind her, ready for the impending shit storm that would follow Geoff’s obnoxious prying into their personal lives, but, completely surprising him, Meg turned just as they reached the bottom of the stairs, planting a quick kiss on his lips, standing on her toes to do so, steadying herself with her hands on his chest.  


She spoke softly, “Well, now I don’t have to worry about how they’d react to an interoffice romance.”  


“Yeah, it definitely could have gone way worse, I just don’t know how Geoff found out…”  


Geoff shouted from above, his head peering down over the railing, “You guys weren’t very quiet the day before yesterday you know, I was actually on my way to Ryan’s room when I heard you guys above. Try closing the door next time kids!”  


“Fuck off Geoff!” This was both Meg and Ryan, as they also simultaneously flipped him off.  


“Oh, it seems like only yesterday you guys were practically at each other's throats, and look at you now! So proud of you guys!”  


“Ugh, what an asshole,” Meg said chuckling, “Is he always like this?”  


“Believe it or not, no, usually he’s playful, but never to this extent, just a comment or two every now and then. I think he likes you.”  


“You think so? I’m happy to have your dads apporval, what about you though?”  


Ryan visibly recoiled at the question, a little surprised at the sudden shift over to him, he stuttered nervously for a second before regaining his composure. He thought about Meg. For a decently sized part of his life, she had been a part of it, whether physically or mentally, and usually it ended poorly for him. It wasn’t that Meg was a terrible person, she was just someone who discovered really early on that she had to do everything she could to make it out on top, whether it was lying, cheating, or stealing, and sometimes even all of the above. The thing was, Ryan understood why Meg did everything that she did, not that it meant being okay with it, being her lover, and ex-lover, over the years, it was actually the opposite, he despised that Meg couldn’t move past the “survival of the fittest” mindset. Every time that she left, he waited, and every time that she came back, smiling wide, he let her back in. He loved her, he knew that, but it was a painful love that he wasn’t sure he could deal with, but here he was, letting Meg back into his life after their longest hiatus yet. Was it really worth it, letting her back in when he practically knew the routine by heart? If she didn’t steal the drive from them, then the next logical move would be to take whatever their next target was, sell it off quickly, and run hell for another few years until Ryan forgot the pain. Of course, there was always the chance that she wouldn’t do that, an off chance that Meg truly was sorry, that she finally decided to give her emotions a chance to pilot her rather than her instinct. This was, though, very unlikely.  


He blinked a few times, looking solemnly into Meg’s eyes as he pondered his feelings. He could tell her, if he did, she might stay, she might even say it back. He knew that was bullshit, if he told her now, she would definitely just use that to her advantage in whatever way she could, whether it be stealing from him, or finally getting rid of him. 

No, she wouldn’t. Of all the times Meg had crossed paths with Ryan, this one was different, there wasn’t a clever attempt at seduction, no attempt to learn about everything and everyone Ryan was involved with, no, this time there was a party, a seemingly kind hearted apology, and even the delivery of gifts which were long thought to have been lost. This time, Meg was sincere, she had to be.  


With a sigh, he finally broke the silence, “I… I love you, Meg, I always have, and I want you to know right now, that I expect nothing from you but, I needed to finally say it. Because, if there’s a chance that you feel the same way, then it means, that I didn’t just throw away all those years that I stood by letting you hurt me over and over again. It means that, everything I thought about you was true, that you’re not just a psycho, out to screw me over every chance you get, you’re just as messed up as I am. I want to believe, that… That I can trust you to stay, to let yourself be at ease, not needing to fight your way out of getting too comfortable with your emotions. I don’t expect anything in return, but I’m hoping you can see that, you can trust me.”  


“Ryan… I-I don’t know what to say…” Meg choked out.  


“Just say… What you feel, Meg, even if it’s not what I’m hoping to hear, I want it to at least be something honest.”  
“I… Love… You too Rye…” Meg said, she stared forward at his chest, though her eyes seemed to look beyond, at something that wasn’t quite there.  


“So, what does that mean Meg?”  
“It means… It means that, I’m going to stay… Not just here with the Crew, but with you. I’m tired of running Rye, you’re right, I was always tuned into my instincts and I never thought to let my emotions suggest what I should do for too long. I was always afraid that I would be taken advantage of, or you know… That I would end up discarded and forgotten, that’s why I never gave you your gifts. I bought them, with the intention of giving them to you, but then the instincts settled back in, every time. I hid the gifts away and I never looked back at them, because I was afraid to let my emotions lead me down a path where I ended up hurt, and instead, I wound up hurting you, over, and over, and over again.”  


Ryan stuttered his reply, “I’m… glad Meg,” He wrapped his arms tightly around her, and buried his face in her hair, “We can finally move on from everything that happened in the past.”  


“Yeah,” Came Meg’s reply as she returned Ryan’s hug, tighter than he expected.  


Ryan pulled back from the embrace and laced his fingers through Meg’s, smiling when she gave his hand a squeeze, he noticed the tear rolling down her cheek. He reached out and gently wiped it away with his free hand, leaning in and giving her a peck on the lips as he did so. A few giggles later, and they began their ascent to Ryan’s room on the fourth floor. As they got to the steps of the second floor, they saw Geoff exiting his room, worry painted all over his face. He caught Ryan’s gaze and gave him a half-hearted smile and nodded the understood, we need to talk, nod. Ryan raised an eyebrow and turned to Meg, who, unsurprisingly, wasn’t familiar yet with the customs of the Crew. He told her that Geoff wanted to talk to him, and to go on up to his room, he wouldn’t be long. He followed Geoff back down the stairs past the first floor and into the heist planning room below, typically only Geoff was ever down here, but he did occasionally make exceptions when requiring another member’s expertise.  


Inside the planning room, Ryan looked around to the blueprints, photographs, and whiteboard writings the covered the walls, this was a lot, usually, a heist never took up more than two walls, but now even the wall with the doorway had information on it. Ryan nodded, this next one was gonna be a doozy.  


Geoff finally spoke, “Don’t worry about all that stuff Ryan, we’re not talkin’ about the heist, well... sort of.”  


“Huh?” Ryan responded, a little surprised, “What are we talking about then?”  


“Well… You remember, a couple years ago, when we had all those new people crowding up the fifth floor?”  


“All those three people?” Ryan interjected.  


“Yeah, well, I’ve been in touch over the years with all of them, they’re all doing great by the way, but, um… How do I put this? You know Ashley right?”  


“Bur-Jenkins?” Ryan said correcting himself.  


“Yeah, well, I know you two had a thing back then,” Geoff began, “and I know it was while she was engaged to Burnie, now now, don’t look at me like that, of course I knew. The point isn’t that, it’s that… she’s coming back.”  


“What? Why?” Ryan shouted, forgetting himself for a moment before calming down.  


“Ryan, the heist requires quite a bit of manpower, in fact, it requires two more people than what we have,”  


“Then call up some of the idiots from FH or Lil’ J! Hell even Ray would probably have been a better choice than Ashley!”  


“Ryan,” Geoff continued, “The employer wants her, he knows she’s good and he requests… Demands, that she be on the heist, after that he doesn’t care who else is involved as the eighth. So, to make up for it, I think you should get a say in who’s going to be our eighth.”  


Ryan sighed and thought about his choice, but quickly, his mind became clouded with thoughts of Ashley, he didn’t love her, but at the time, it definitely had felt like it.  


***

  


“Hey Rye!” Came the shout from downstairs.  


“What’s up Michael?” Ryan responded, leaning over the railing and waving.  


“Dude, we got another new person today, can you believe it?”  


“Really? That’s great,” Ryan said as he continued making his way down the stairs, “Who is it?” He said as he made it down the last few steps.  


“Dude, it’s this super hot chick, Geoff said her name was Ashley, he didn’t say anything else before they went into the conference room.”  


“Wait, Ashley Jenkins?” Ryan asked, shocked at the idea of Ashley being part of a Crew like Fake AH.  


“Yeah! You know her?”  


“Just the name, pretty sure she’s engaged to Geoff’s old partner, Burnie.  


“Dude, that’s crazy! Man, all these weirdos joining our crew.”  
Ryan smiled as Michael walked away and into the kitchen, as he watched, he heard the door behind him squeak as it opened, _oil for that one then_ , he thought to himself. He saw Geoff head out, smile as wide as ever, as he gave Ashley a quick hug and hastily made his way out of the building, Ryan didn’t even have time to say anything before he was out the door. He stared wide-eyed at the door, wondering what Geoff of all people, was rushing to do.  


“He’s going for lunch with Burnie,” Ryan heard a voice from the direction of the conference room, “They’re using me as an excuse to finally catch up in person after all these years.” The voice finished, now Ryan realized that it was Ashley speaking.  


“Oh, that explains it,” Ryan said walking towards her, “I’ve never seen Geoff rush like that to do anything other than when he hears a new bar opened up.”  


Ashley giggled at that and held out her hand to Ryan, he smiled and shook her hand, pleasantly surprised at how strong her grip was. They chatted a couple minutes longer before Ashley suddenly made a surprised face and excused herself to take up all of her things, which Ryan noticed, were all sitting around the coffee table in the middle of the room. He offered to help and she graciously accepted. The next several minutes were spent talking and laughing as they walked up and down the steps, taking up boxes and suitcases to her new room on the fifth floor. Finally, they had finished and Ryan placed the last box on the ground before collapsing onto the bed.  


“You sure brought a lot of stuff Ash.” He sighed stretching his arms up over his head.  


“Yeah yeah, I know,” Ashley began, as she unzipped one of her suitcases and began folding up her clothes before putting them in the dresser, “I am going to be living here though, so shouldn’t I have brought ALL of my stuff?”  


“I guess that’s true, but I guess, none of US had anywhere near as much stuff as you do, I mean, why do you need all these Christmas lights?” He said pulling on a string of Christmas lights.  


“They’re for decoration Rye!” Ashley said, giggling.  


Ryan winced at that, he had grown used to being called Rye by the rest of the crew, but Ashley, a woman, calling him Rye, felt strange. He stared at nothingness, his grip on the lights loosening so that they fell to the floor, the last woman to call him Rye, was no longer around. He let his arm dangle off the side of the bed as he lay staring up, silent. He felt the bed move and looked over at Ashley, who was on the other end of the bed, also looking up at the ceiling. She reached down and gave Ryan’s hand a quick squeeze before placing it over her other hand one her chest. Ryan smiled.  


***

  


“Hurry your slow ass up Rye!”  


“Shut up!” Ryan retorted as he caught up to Ashley, “what’s the rush anyway Ash? It’s barely like, nine in the morning.”  


“Yeah, except the dude that’s engraving the helmet for Michael is leaving on some business trip in less than an hour, and he didn’t tell me until this morning!”  


“Alright, fine.”  


At the intersection Ryan had to pull on Ashley’s arm as a car went flying by, Ryan looked up and saw the light was red, he shook his head, almost immediately he heard the distorted wail of a police siren as it also flew past. He slowly let Ashley’s arm down and noticed she was looking at him with a small bit of surprise in her eyes. She took a step back, pushing her back into Ryan’s chest. He felt a rush of excitement as he put his arms around her waist and his face in her hair, it smelled sweet. She returned the gesture by putting her hands gently on Ryan’s arms. This lasted a moment before the next cycle of the intersection lights began, and the “walk” signal popped up again. Ashley cleared her throat and walked on. Ryan smiled to himself, and followed.  


Once inside the shop, Ashley walked up to the counter, fiddling patiently with her dogtags as she waited in line to speak to someone, Ryan didn’t see who it was, as he was busy looking around at the strange assortment of weapons and gear scattered around the shop. Kinda weird for a pawn shop, he thought walking up to an RPG launcher on the wall.  


A voice came from the counter, “Ryan?”  


“Martin?” Ryan said, turning suddenly.  


“Indeed, are you here with the lovely lady?”  


“Uh, yeah actually, we’re picking up a gift for a friend, it’s his birthday pretty soon.”  


“Well, it’s very good to see you, just give me a moment while I go look for the helmet in the back.”  


Ashley turned and walked towards Ryan, “You know the owner of the shop Rye,” she said, “That’s kinda weird, I never thought you’d even been to this part of town!”  


“Yeah, I never have been, I just know him from a long time ago, he used to own a shop halfway across the country, don’t know why he’s here now.” Ryan said, putting his hand up to rub at his chin.  


“Well, he probably missed his friend!” Ashley said springing up on her toes to give Ryan a peck on the cheek. She giggled and then turned around to meet the man once again at the counter to pay. Ryan gave a reserved smile to Martin, which he returned graciously.  


***

  


_click_

  


_click_

  


_click_

  


_click_

  


“Jesus Ash, could you have worn louder shoes? Next time, why don’t you just bring an air horn with you, it’d probably be cheaper than your shoes too.” Ryan hissed at Ashley as he peeked around the door into the hallway they had just run in from.  


“Shut it Rye!” Ashley said as she pulled off the shoes and ran to the closet.  


“What are you doing?”  


“I’m hiding, genius! There’s no way that we can even get out of here tonight anymore anyway. We need to hide for a bit until everything quiets down.”  


“Fine, but what if they check in here?”  


“They won’t, the guards don’t have access to this floor, I scouted it out earlier.”  


“Alright, then why don’t we just jump out a window? No guards means no eyes on us right?”  


“Well, yeah… But, all of the windows up here are sealed, and bulletproof, so unless you got a grenade-” She stopped and looked at Ryan’s wicked grin, “No Ryan, I was just being sarcastic!”  


“Damn, fine!” He said, stuffing a grenade back into his coat pocket.  


An hour later, Ryan sighed deeply and closed his eyes. His head was tilted back staring at the roof of the closet, on his lap was Ashley, no sooner had they shut the closet door, and she was already yawning. In only a few minutes she was asleep, head on Ryan’s shoulder, and now, in his lap. Ryan suddenly flinched, he heard a whisper in the room. He listened closely and could make out two people, male and female whispering and giggling. Most of what they said was incoherent, but he could decipher a few words like, _quiet, the zipper_ , and _gently_ , he began to blush, but before he could feel his face getting too warm, Ashley stretched on his lap, giving a small moan as she did so. She looked up at Ryan and smiled, reaching up and tracing her fingertips on his jawline.  


“Not everyday you wake up with such a handsome man watching over you,” she whispered before she too heard the chatter, “wait, are those… Wait, are they… But, we’re… Shit.”  


Ryan’s blush intensified as Ashley sat up, facing the same direction that Ryan was, eyes forward, silent. He could only hear her breathing as it slowed down, eventually becoming unnoticeable except for the slight whoosh as it left her nose. They both stared forward, not speaking, waiting, waiting for the end of the highly sexual shenanigans going on mere feet away behind a wooden door. Ryan opened his mouth ready to speak, but thought better of it, suddenly, he felt Ashley’s hand on his. She gave him a squeeze and turned slowly to face him, he did the same, she smiled briefly before giving him a kiss on the lips, a gesture Ryan was eager to return, although he knew they couldn’t make much noise, for fear of being caught. He smiled and they continued to kiss silently, as moans and squeaks came from the other side of the door. They spent the night in the closet held in each others arms as they slept, and it wasn’t until around one the next day when they finally were able to escape, Ryan holding her hand tightly as they ran practically all the way to the airport. He was eager, and he was just getting started.  


***

  


Ashley’s shoes didn’t make a clanking noise as she ran up the stairs in the Crew building, somehow. It was now three in the afternoon, but everyone in the Crew was away on some sort of mission. Still, Ryan found himself shushing Ashley multiple times as they made their way to the fifth floor. Halfway up to the fifth floor however, Ryan stopped letting his hand pull Ashley back as she continued moving forward, she turned around with an eyebrow raised, she was clearly surprised at the sudden change of eagerness in Ryan.  


“Rye? What’s up, we’re almost to my room.”  


“Ash… Ashley, are we really going to do this? I mean, you’re engaged, and to my boss’s old partner no less. Do you really think that there’s a possibility we do this, and don’t get shot?”  


“Of course Rye! Burnie’s not like that,” Ashley said, a grim smile teasing at her soft expression, “It’s just, I know he won’t find out, and I’ve wanted this for so long. I didn’t think that I would ever find anyone that could even compete with Burnie, but… Here we are, and I think it’s safe to say, I’m falling in love Rye.” She punctuated her last few words by cupping Ryan’s face in her free hand, gently rubbing her thumb on his cheek bone.  


“Ash, if you really are falling in love with me, then surely, you could wait. Surely you could break off the engagement, then, we could be together without this potential guilt looming over us.” He said reaching up to feel the warmth of her hand on his.  


“I-I will Rye, I’ll do it! I’m willing to do it for you, for us. I just want to know if you feel the same way, because if you don’t, then this is a waste of both of our times.”  


“I do Ash, I love you” Ryan said, as he hugged Ashley tightly.  


“Alright, let’s do this!” Ashley said jumping up and down. She grabbed Ryan’s hand once more, and this time she yanked him all the way up and into the room. They hadn’t even crossed the threshold when Ashley’s dress came off, flying for the corner of the room, as she pulled Ryan down by his tie to kiss him deeply. She moaned slightly into his mouth, and Ryan could feel himself becoming hungrier for what was about to happen. He ripped his clothing off and tossed it to join the dress across the room. He stopped kissing her for a moment and noticed she hadn’t been wearing any panties, or a bra for that matter. Ryan thought on how long she had been wearing the dress, almost two days at this point, he bit his lip thinking back, they had been in the closet together, and all that had separated him from her body was the purple silk that only moments ago had been perfectly formed to her curves. He bent down and picked Ashley up, she yelped in response as he walked over to the bed, planting kisses anywhere he could, before he tossed her onto the bed. She was flustered now, and her face showed it, before she could do anything else, Ryan climbed on top of her, giving her a smirk before littering her body with soft kisses, she couldn’t help but moan. Her fingers ran through his hair, and one hand gripped tightly at his back, begging him to get closer to her, even though he was as close as he could be. She pushed him by one of his shoulders and returned the earlier smirk, she shoved him onto his back and sat on top of him, gently rubbing herself on him, knowing how much it was turning him on. Before long the rubbing had stopped, and nothing stood between them now. They had become one, and every moment of it was ecstasy, Ashley moaned loudly, a sound that surprised Ryan and made him more feral in his pursuit of pleasure. He didn’t stop, for hours they continued, eventually ending up in the bathroom, where toiletries were knocked off the sink in favor of better hand positioning.  


At last, Ryan stopped, breathing heavily as he sauntered over to the bed and collapsed, followed shortly by a still gasping Ashley. He smiled softly, before the corners of his mouth turned downward slightly, and he let his exhaustion take him.


	4. Chapter 4

# Chapter 4

###  _“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.”  
-Bruce Lee_

  


Meg sat patiently on Ryan’s bed for what seemed like hours, though a quick glance at his clock confirmed it, 3:47, it had been five minutes. She didn’t know how long Ryan would be talking to Geoff, and so she attempted to occupy herself with her surroundings. As long as she had known Ryan, she had never once been in any of his rooms, and looking now, she was curious as to how similar the others probably were to this one. It was relatively simple, the bed sat in the corner farthest from the door, a nightstand a comfortable few inches away against the wall; on it, only a lamp and a clock. A desk sat right below the window, which she smiled at, remembering how annoying the desk had made it to open his blinds. The walls were mostly barren except for two picture frames next to the window, Meg hadn’t noticed them before, and she narrowed her eyes as she got up to examine them. The pictures, she found, were quite cute for a scary and mysterious guy like Ryan, one of them was of the Crew, the full Crew to be exact, it included several more people that she could only assume were either friendly with Fake AH or an extension of it, it was taken fairly recently, as she noticed the plans in the background for the recent heist they had just pulled. She let her eyes wander up in thought, but shook away those thoughts vigorously. The other picture on the wall was of a building, one that Meg gasped at, as she recognized immediately, it was the Rose building. She recognized the angle it was taken from too, the top of the old building where she and Ryan had first met, the rooftop that they spent more time on together than in the actual building, she had made her best friend there, one that, despite all her bullshit, always waited with open arms for her. She couldn’t help a tear from rolling down her cheek, but she smiled despite the tear. She noticed a hole in the wall next to the two frames, set about the same height that she assumed the nails that were holding up the two frames were. She cocked her head, why was there an extra hole? Had the picture been taken down recently, or had it been intended to be put up and then not? She looked around for any sign of the other frame that could belong on the wall, but there were no places it could be, Ryan’s desk had no drawers, and his closet was basically just a square hole in the wall.  


She finally looked at the nightstand, it had a single drawer, so Meg knew the potentially unhung frame had to be in there, she stepped forward, fully intent on opening the drawer, but she stopped. Was Meg really going to invade Ryan’s privacy like that? Surely he had a reason for taking off the frame, or never putting it up, but if there wasn’t even another picture, she had just intruded for nothing. Even if there was another picture, did it actually affect her in any way? Why was she so damn curious about this? She tightened her lips and reached a hand out, she would just look, if there was no frame, no harm done, and if there was, she could just ask about the hole and see if he told her about it. With a slight squeak, the drawer rolled open, and sure enough, inside lay a face down picture frame. Meg felt her chest tighten, but why? When at last she flipped over the frame, she saw a picture of a field, a generic picture, one that probably came with the frame, it even had the word friends in large script on it. Hesitantly she began to shut the drawer, ashamed that she had just betrayed Ryan, all for her curiosity. She noticed something in the drawer however, the back of the frame was visible under the picture frame, indicating that it wasn’t properly attached. Once again her chest tightened, the cardboard back not being in place didn’t mean anything, but nonetheless, her mind spun with the possibility of something being behind the generic picture. Time stretched as Meg reached down to lift up the picture frame, every second dragged on, and her vision stretched right along with time, her hand seemed infinitely far away from her, and the frame was just out of reach, or so it seemed, her fingers grabbed at the cool black wood and tightened as they pulled back, bringing it with them. The picture fell, apparently attempting to maintain a grip on the glass that was now being pulled away from it. As it slowly flapped down, another smaller picture fell onto the floor of the room, Meg followed it as it fluttered and reflected light. Once it was on the ground, she knelt down to pick it up, and by now, time was beginning to return to normal, although Meg couldn’t stifle her gasp when she saw the picture.  


It was Ryan, but not just Ryan, no, that didn’t warrant a gasp, he was kissing a woman, but even that didn’t warrant a gasp, he was kissing Ashley, Burnie Burn's ex-fiance. She was apparently holding up the camera as her hand was stretched up beyond frame, her cheeks blush enhanced by the flash of the camera, and the corners of Ryan's signature smile as he pressed his lips to hers. Meg could do nothing but stand and stare, how long ago had this picture been taken, Ryan still looked relatively the same, but she had never even seen Ashley before, she only knew what everyone else did, that she suddenly broke off her engagement with Burnie, and not long after, run off to lead a life of crime far from her old criminal friends. Had Ryan been the reason why she broke off the engagement? It was unlikely that this picture was taken seven years ago, before Burnie and Ashley had apparently begun dating, it was very likely though, based on Ryan's features, that this was taken just a couple years ago after or before she left Burnie.  


She whispered to herself, “what the fuck,” and then looked around the room, “I-I need to talk to Rye.” She put away the pictures and frame as well as she could remember, hoping Ryan didn’t notice, maybe she could get him to talk without bringing up that she had broken what frail trust he had in her by snooping.  


She had finished just in time, because as she sat back down on the bed, she heard Ryan swiftly approaching the door, within seconds he had practically dragged his way into the room, barely acknowledging Meg before collapsing onto the bed face first. Meg gave an apologetic look and rubbed his shoulder gently, she felt his muscles tense and eventually relax as she continued to rub. He mumbled something into the bed and then leaned his face up and talk-shouted ‘Muherfugger’.  


“What’s up Rye?” Meg asked, hoping that she would be able to find out if Ryan had indeed caused what eventually led to Burnie basically becoming a psycho, she cringed at the rumors of the things he had done.  


“We’re just getting some extra members for the team, well, for the mission anyway,” Ryan began, “Ugh… Don’t worry about it.”  


“I mean, I already know you like to keep the circle small, you always have.”  


“Yeah, I mean, I got a choice in one of them, but the other one the employer wanted, _'they’re reliable, and appropriately crazy’_ ,” Ryan said making air quotes.  


“What does that mean?” Meg asked, as she pondered what kind of guy was appropriately crazy, she looked at Rye lovingly, _he's appropriately crazy_ , she thought.  


“Dunno, I don’t care though, It’ll totally ruin the team dynamic if they get put with me.”  


“I’m sorry Rye, but I mean, at least you got a choice in at least one of them, who’d you pick?”  


“Oh just an old friend, I haven’t seen them in almost two years.”  


“Really?” Then Meg froze… Ashley, it had to be.  


Ryan rolled over so that his head bumped against Meg’s waist, he lifted his head and placed it on her lap, she reacted by running her hand through his hair. He looked at her, an expression which she found unreadable, but she smiled down at him anyway, he forced a smile back. She collected her thoughts and cleared her throat, deciding to ask about the picture, one way or another.  


***

  
Ryan sighed, probably for the hundredth time this week, he got up and walked to his window, Meg had just left his room in a huff, because he had apparently not given her the right answer when she asked about the hole in the wall next to his pictures. He reached out and ran a finger over the hole, giving a glance to his nightstand where he knew the picture sat. He hadn’t taken it down for a long time after what had happened with Ashley, he had left it as a generic picture on his wall to hide it from anyone that might walk in and look at it, discovering what he had done, and exposing him to the lovelorn Burnie. Only recently had he remembered that Ash sat behind the scenic field, and he removed the picture; not wanting to throw it out or the memories it held, he opted for the nightstand. Now, both Geoff and Meg reminded him of the picture, and that in only one short day, Ashley would be arriving. He looked at the clock on his nightstand, 4:11, he had to brace for the impact that was Ashley, and her wrath from all the pain he had surely caused her two years ago. He closed his eyes and thought about her for a moment, she had told him she loved him, and he had returned the words. He told himself now that it wasn’t love, it had just felt like love. But it was love, and he turned it away. He was afraid that people would find out, more importantly, that Burnie would find out, so he turned her away after she broke off her engagement. There had been nothing else he could tell her after that, the mind-numbing slap she gave him spoke volumes on her feelings though, and by the next day, she was gone. Ryan’s face tightened, he could still remember the way her blue eyes shined more like silver as the tears welled up and eventually streamed down her face, or how her dirty blonde hair swung into her face with the force and violence of her slap, a rage that she let loose in one action upon Ryan for what he’d done. He opened his eyes and turned for his door, he might have ruined things with Ashley, but he could make sure that what he currently had with Meg, was secure. As he left, he gave another glance at his clock, 4:52, Ashley would be arriving in less than 24 hours, and he had spent way too long thinking about her. He frowned and turned to head up into Meg’s room, but bumped into someone as he shut his own door, he jumped back and looked at who he had bumped into. His jaw dropped, as he was at a loss for words.  


“Hey there Rye,” Ashley said, hands on her hips, “Where are you off to in such a rush?”  


“A-Ashley,” Ryan stammered, “I thought you weren’t getting here for like, another day, at least!” He pressed his back against the door to his room, eyeing Ashley, she had changed a bit over the years. Her hair was much lighter than it had been, and it was now cut to just about shoulder length. Her eyes still shone like silver when she was directly facing the light, but he could tell they were still the same old blue.  


“I know, somehow I got here sooner than I expected, but enough about me Rye! How have you been? Wanna come and take a walk with me, we can take the time to catch up. Before it gets too late, that is.”  


“Well, I was actually going to do something just now,” He tried to say it confidently, but her eyes grew wider as his sentence carried on, making it harder and harder to say no, “but I guess I could do it later,” he finished, casting a cautious glance up the stairs to the floor where Meg resided. He hoped this wouldn’t take too long, and that he was back sooner, rather than later, after all, the girl he just professed his love to was waiting upstairs, apparently upset at him.  


He and Ashley strode out of the building side by side into the calm chaos that was late afternoon Los Santos, it made Ryan feel badass in a way that recalled memories from long ago when they were all just that, badass. Nowadays, they preferred a stealthy and precise approach to the job, but there had been a time when being trigger happy car chase psychopaths, was the way they lived. Ryan recalled fondly those days, when the name Vagabond was all that the streets knew him as, when Fake AH being muttered was enough to give people chills, now, it made people wonder, wonder how albeit insane, petty criminals became such a successful crew of criminal masterminds. He wasn’t long into his flashbacks, when he felt a slight tug at his arm, he looked down and saw Ashley’s hand holding onto his, she entwined her fingers into his and he smiled, giving her hand a squeeze as they walked. They continued on, a warm feeling of nostalgia working its way through Ryan, and he hoped it ran through Ashley as well, as they passed the many skyscrapers downtown. They came to a stop just across the street from a huge grassy area, Ryan’s smile widened as he remembered the location. Ashley led him to a spot almost directly in the center and plopped down, pulling him down with her, and prompting him to fall sideways, head going into her lap, as she let go of him. He stared up into her eyes, now the calm blue he had always remembered them to be. She placed her hand on his head, slowly running her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes, she said she wanted to talk as they walked, but they had only walked two blocks from the building and hadn’t uttered a single word. Finally, Ashley dared to shatter the silence, “did you ever think about me Rye?”  


He thought for a moment, of course he had, it was difficult not to, he loved Ashley long after she left, and he thought of her night and day for nearly a year after.  


“Of course I did Ash, how could I not?”  


“Easily,” she said gently, “to me it seemed like you forgot your feelings almost immediately,” she said, her voice catching as a tear began to well in her eye.  


“I could never forget my feelings Ash, but it was risky for us to be together, I mean, your fiance was one of the most feared men in the city, and us being on his bad side, was dangerous.”  


“I know that Ryan, but you never said that, you made it seem more like you just wanted to play ‘homewrecker’,” Ashley said, a bit more serious.  


Ryan hesitated, he actually hadn’t ever told Ashley why they couldn’t be together, he just broke up with her two days after she broke up with Burnie, coldy and suddenly as he remembered it, “Ashley, I’m sorry.”  


“It’s ok Ryan, I understand, I do have another question though…”  


“Yeah?”  


“Do you… Still love me?”  


“A-Ashley, I-I… Well, you see, I just-”  


“It’s okay, Rye, I understand,” Ashley interrupted, and made a move to stand and run, but Ryan grabbed her arm.  


“Ash, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, and I have to say, that I don’t know if I still love you, but I still care about you, a lot.”  


“Well,” She began sitting down at Ryan’s side, closer than she had been in a long time, “maybe… this…” She trailed off, getting closer to Ryan as she did, the people around them hurried, almost as blurs as Ryan felt Ashley’s breath on his lips. He instinctively closed his eyes ignoring the few people that rushed around the grassy area, but his eyes caught something, a wave of purple standing just across the street, a wave that slowly turned into another blur as it headed in the direction of the Crew safehouse. Their lips made contact, his eyes still open, now readjusting, correcting the blur he had been seeing, and he frowned, this wasn’t right. Ashley pulled away and placed a hand on Ryan’s chest, she noticed his frown, and looked down, “yeah… it doesn’t feel the same as it did does it?”  


“No it doesn’t,” Ryan sighed.  


“Sorry Rye, I love you more than words can express, but it seems… You don’t feel the same way huh?”  


“I guess not,” he said, remembering Meg, “oh shit, Meg!”  


“What?”  


“Fuck, that was Meg!” He shouted. The wave, it had been Meg! It had been Meg, and she saw what they were doing, out on the grassy hill practically in each other’s arms.  


“Who was Meg? Who _is_ Meg?” Ashley asked, following Ryan as he stood and ran for the headquarters.  


Ryan never answered her, by the time he had reached the office building, Ashley was still a block behind, and he had no intentions of stopping to explain to his ex, why he was chasing his current girlfriend. He blasted past the first floor, and took the stairs two at a time, making it in record time to Turney’s door. He skipped the knocking, sure that if he did, Meg would deny him entry. Instead, he slowly opened the door and attempted to peek inside, but he was greeted by an alarm clock smashing against the wall, narrowly missing his head. He flinched, but then pushed the door open all the way and dashed for Meg’s bed where she sat, reaching her just as she was preparing to throw a lamp at him now. As he reached out to grab her hands, she kicked out, uncrossing her legs and nailing him in the gut, still he grabbed her throwing arm and attempted to pull her to him. She fell off the bed taking him down with her, he landed less than optimally, on his back as Meg now attempted to wrap herself around his arm. He twisted as she did, and managed to keep his hand on her wrist as he got up to one knee, his other arm held one of her legs down. He was awarded for his grapple with a swift kick to the face, which sent him backwards onto his ass, Meg shot up and kicked for his head again, this time missing as he rolled getting closer to her, she grunted in response, and jumped, landing on her bed with both feet. Standing taller now, she looked at Ryan who slowly got up acknowledging that she had now pulled out a knife, seemingly out of nowhere.  


“Meg,” he said slowly, “baby, can you put the knife down, please?”  


“Don’t call me that Haywood,” she spat, as tears welled in her eyes.  


“C’mon Meg, we can talk about this, there was no need to throw that perfectly good clock at the wall,” He said, daring to take a step towards Meg, who took one back in response. He suddenly felt a little light in the head as he felt warmth running down his face, he touched his lip and felt the blood that was surely all over his clothes now, the kick had done more than cause him to bleed however, and his lightness slowly intensified.  


“I wasn’t intending for the clock to hit the wall,” Meg said, not acknowledging the fact that Ryan wobbled ever so slightly.  


“Why are you trying to hit me with the shit on your nightstand?” Ryan continued, opting to give his head a shake to hopefully clear the impending fog before it came.  


“Because you’re a bastard Haywood,” She hissed, “and I had just finally decided to let my feelings for you out into the open.”  


“So you did see what happened outside huh?” He whispered, a little hurt by her referring to him only by last name.  


“Yeah, I saw you kissing some blonde bitch, less than two hours after you told me you loved me!” This time, she shouted.  


“Meg, it isn’t what you think, it wasn’t some ‘bitch’, that was an old member of the crew, Ashley Jenkins.”  


“Oh, you mean the whore you stole away from Burnie Burns?”  


“What are you… How do you know that? You don’t know Ashley!”  


“I know the name, Burnie talked about her often enough.”  


“But how do you know that we were together?”  


“Because,” she paused, trying to carefully choose her words, she shook her head and glared back at Ryan defiantly, “I saw the old picture of you guys in your nightstand and I'm not stupid enough to not know how to put two and two together!”  


“So you were snooping through my things?” Ryan tried to turn the tables on Meg.  


“Yes, and I know it was wrong, but I was going to tell you about it soon, I was just going to see if you would mention her to me at all.”  


“Why? Why would you possibly care about that?”  
“Because I care about you Ryan! I want to know about what you’ve been doing for all these years that we haven’t been together! I thought you might tell me about the women you’ve been with or you know, anything about the past seven years, I don’t even care that she was engaged to Burnie! But, I never thought you’d be lying in the grass practically making out with her so soon after what had happened between us!”  


“I… I know, I’m sorry Meg. Really I am, I didn’t intend to kiss her, and I was going to tell you about her, about everything, but when I was going to, she showed up at my room and asked to talk, so I obliged. I didn’t think much of it, but before I knew it, we were out there… and we talked about the past, and she kissed me before I could even react… But I saw you, and I had to come after you!”  


“So you only stopped, because you saw me? The woman who is technically your girlfriend? I suppose if I hadn’t seen you from my window and decided to follow you, you’d still be out there making out with her.”  


“No! Meg of course not! It wasn’t just because I saw you, and suddenly remembered my morals! The kiss was brief, and if it hadn’t been so sudden, I never would have done it! It didn’t feel right, it was just-”  


“It didn’t feel right to be cheating on your girlfriend you mean?”  


“Jesus, no, Meg! Please stop interrupting me! I’m trying to explain, if I could take back that kiss I would, my mind was a blur reminiscing over the past, not just her, but everyone at Fake AH and all the memories I have of this place. She kissed me before I could stop her, and immediately it felt wrong, not because of the implications of cheating, but because I don’t love her anymore, not like I used to… She asked me if I did, and the answer became clear as day when she kissed me.” Ryan’s hands were now at his side as he looked down. Meg trembled, but took a deep breath. Ryan could feel the intensity radiating off of her.  


“I… I don’t know that I believe you Rye,” she whispered, and before Ryan could respond, she continued, “I mean… Why have her picture still? I know what those other two pictures on your wall are, the obvious one, your family here, and the more subtle one, me. You always liked to be as cryptic as possible in everything you did. I think you’re just holding onto me, because you’ve known me the longest, and you can’t handle letting me go yet… Maybe you took down her picture because I showed up. If it had been her who showed up in that warehouse, would her picture still be on the wall and would mine be in your nightstand? How do I know you’re not just looking to invest in a backup plan, in case I leave? How do I know you actually love me?”  


Ryan stared blankly at Meg for what seemed like hours, did she really think that he didn’t love her? He couldn’t compose his words, and only succeeded in stuttering which he was sure was only making Meg more sure of her theory. He reached out a hand to her but she backed away and jumped back off the bed, leaving it between them now.  


“Get out Ryan.”  


“No, wait… Meg, please, I do love you!”  


“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!” She shouted, pointing the knife at her door, then back at Ryan, as tears streamed down her face. Ryan tried again to protest but Meg lifted her arm preparing to throw the knife at him, he knew she wouldn’t miss. He slowly stepped back and out of her room, and was greeted by Ashley leaning her head against the wall, a tear streaming down her face as well. She looked up at Ryan and shook her head.  


“I’m sorry Ryan,” She whimpered, “If I’d known about you two, I wouldn’t have done anything, I swear! I just needed to know!”  


“I know Ash,” He said, wrapping his arms around her, stifling her whimpers as he petted her head and rubbed her back. He stared out the hall window and frowned. He had fucked up, he knew that, and it might be a cold day in Hell before Meg finally forgave him. He focused on Ashley, still in his arms, her sobs were slowly dying down, why had he let her kiss him? He didn’t know, he supposed it had been because of surprise, or maybe he didn’t think she’d actually go through with it. Ryan couldn’t help it as another sigh escaped his mouth, he feared the day would never come, where he could breathe easily again.  


***

  


That night, Ryan found his head swimming, Meg and Ashley swirled in his mind, at times becoming one, sometimes flickering out of existence, and along with them swam memories of each, fueled by the many bitter drinks he had drank only a couple hours before. He flashed a look at his clock, 1:35, confirming his anxiety at how little sleep he was going to receive, then he turned towards his wall, expecting to meet a white facade of plaster, and instead bumping into the soft back of Ashley. He raised an eyebrow and a million thoughts ran through his head, none of them involving Meg. One of his hands was rubbing his temple and he looked once more at the clock, 1:36, he groaned. His eyebrows furrowed and with one eye closed he looked once more at the wall, this time Ashley was gone, and in her place was Meg, albeit, a more blonde Meg, then, Ashley was back. He cursed his fleeting vision as a vignette slowly descended with promises of sleep, though he knew he’d be wide eyed in another minute. He inhaled deeply, then exhaled slowly, focusing on the slow rhythmic beat of the Ashley-Not-Ashley-Meg-Not-Meg breathing next to him, his mind’s pulsating calmed and he dared a glance at the clock after he shook off the vignette, 6:54. He groaned. The vignette was gone, and to make up for the lack of blurry darkened vision, his eyes made the world spin around, and his temples surged with the pulsing of his heart. Closing his eyes was the only respite he found from both the blinding pain, and the blinding light that trespassed into his room. Next to him Ashley stretched and moaned, turning at the same time, allowing her to place an arm on Ryan’s chest. She smiled and spent only a moment lying next to him before sitting up and leaping over him to land on the floor.  


“Before you ask Rye, no, I didn’t drink last night, and no, we didn’t do anything either. I had enough trouble dragging you up here after you did all those shots,” she paused only a moment to pull up her pants before continuing, “I didn’t know that you drank Rye.”  


“I don’t,” came his simple response. Though, as of last night, Ryan wasn’t so sure that was true anymore. He sat up and watched Ashley finish adjusting her bra before she pulled on the shirt that Ryan recognized from yesterday, only now did he notice the F.A.H.C in very light green print on the sleeve. On the front of the shirt was a simple design that began with a broken green heart on the left breast, and had elegant curves flowing from the heart, black flowers occasionally dotting some of the curves. Ryan raised an eyebrow before surrendering his eyes once again to the power of the light, it was a weird shirt to be sure, and looked more like something a teenager that was obsessed with the Crew and shitty punk music would wear, he could practically picture the million piercings and eyeliner.  


“Nice shirt Ash,” Ryan mumbled sarcastically, still trying to bite his way through the thrumming of daily life in his head.  


“I know, isn’t it? I made it just before I came down here,” She replied, ignoring the sarcasm that dripped Ryan’s previous comment, “I figure, there’s no way that we’ll actually get merchandise in stores, for obvious reasons,”  


Ryan interrupted, “you mean the fact that we’re criminals?”  


“Yes, and, I also figure that Geoff won’t make us team shirts or any sort of team clothing, so I took it upon myself to make them, check out the back! It says our names,” She turned around pointing at her back. Ryan looked at her with an eyebrow raised, on the back, it had her codename, JINX in bold. He smiled softly at her before speaking, “did you make one for everyone?”  


“Of course Rye, though, there I didn’t make one for Ray, or you know… Meg.” She responded softly, running over to her suitcase and rummaging through it for a minute before pulling out an identical shirt with VAGABOND on the back. Ryan stumbled his way out of bed and over to Ashley who held out the shirt, as if seeking approval for her design prowess. Ryan smirked and took the shirt from Ashley, turning it around before letting out a small chuckle. While the overall design was the same, where Ashley’s shirt had black flowers, Ryan’s shirt had equally black skulls dotted over the flowing lines.  


“What’s everybody else’s shirt like? I’m willing to bet that Geoff’s probably has booze on it, and Gavin’s is probably some british thing, like a teabag,” Ryan said, stifling laughter.  


“You’re more or less right,” Ashley offered, turning around to zip her suitcase back up, “Listen, I do wanna make one for both Ray and Meg, got any ideas on the patterns? I have like five extra shirts we can use.”  


“Yeah… Obviously, Ray’s is gonna be roses, obviously,” Ryan stopped for a moment before smiling, “and make it guns on Meg’s shirt,” He said, thinking fondly on his memories with Meg and her ridiculous codename.  


“Sweet, and codenames?” Ashley asked.  


“Brownman… and… Doll,” Ryan said softly.  


***

  


That afternoon, Ryan returned to his room after an unsuccessful day of trying to get Meg to come out of her room, or at least talk to him. At this point, he was sure that she probably just fled out her window. As he walked in, he saw Ashley sitting at his desk pressing an iron over some of the shirts she had shown him earlier. He asked her how it was going and she confirmed that this was the last one, she had spent most of the day creating the black “patches” to iron on over the curves, and the letters for the codenames. Ryan looked at the one on the wall and walked over, eager to have an excuse to go to Meg’s room once more. On the front were of course pistols, ones similar to the one Ryan carried, that now had Meg’s birthday inscription on it. The back simply read DOLL, and he smiled, thinking back on when she insisted everyone call her that, back when codenames weren’t even all that necessary. He inquired to Ashley about the other shirts, and she pointed him at her suitcase. Inside, Ryan found the four other shirts that Ashley had yet to give out, the first was clearly Geoffs, several cliche “XXX” marked bottles were spread across the front, and on the back was the name OG, a name he took to calling himself after beating it into everyone’s heads that, he had started the Crew from almost nothing after splitting off from his old friends and partners. Ryan smiled and set the shirt aside, picking up the next one, this one, clearly Gavin’s, the back said GAVINO, which, although it wasn’t far from his name, it had proven to be a pretty decent codename. The front had several police boxes, which Ryan assumed were Tardis’s. Next was Michael’s, arguably the most unique, as it had several curse words with an asterisk in place of one of the vowels of that word, such as F*CK, SH*T, and B*TCH, the back of course said RAGEQUIT, which wasn’t technically his codename, but everyone had just decided it described him way better than MICOO, the codename that Gavin had chosen for him. And last was Jack, his shirt was adorned with burritos, tacos, and a few other delicious foods, and of course, the back said, BEARDO. Ryan gathered up the shirts with a chuckle and walked back over to Ashley who had now finished Ray’s shirt. She gleefully handed it over and walked with him out of the room and downstairs.  


***

  


Meg sat alone in her room all day after the encounter she’d had with Ryan’s infidelity, refusing to go downstairs to even eat, instead having one of the crew members bring her a nibble or two every now and then. She was glad to have had the sense to have a desktop in her room, if not for her computer, she wouldn’t have lasted six hours, much less almost twenty-four. She tossed the dogtags that Ryan had given her just a day ago, into a drawer, hoping to stifle any feelings or memories his gift would bring. At around four, she heard a knock at her door and she glanced over with an eyebrow raised, she had asked Jack to bring up some food at six, so there was no way this was him, she figured that it was Ryan again, attempting to make up for what he’d done. A meek sigh escaped her lips and she was forced to remember what she’d seen the other day just a few blocks down the street.  


Ashley was walking away from Ryan, who was sitting on the grass, and as she did, he reached up and pulled her back down into an almost immediate kiss. In all, the scene had taken place over the course of a minute, but to Meg, it felt like an eternity, each beat of her heart signified another second passing, though they stretched farther and farther apart, allowing time for Meg to see how gently Ryan had pulled Ashley back to him, how smoothly she had sat down next to him and brushed her face so closely against his, How the gap between their faces seemed so close and yet so far away, like Meg could fit in between them and at the same time, not even her pinky would fit between them. Another knock on the door, and Meg stood up to look out of her peephole. As she took a step her phone rang, not for the first time today, no, this was forty-sixth time her phone had rang today, and the forty-sixth time that she knew, she wouldn’t answer it. One deep breath later and she was at the door ready to peek out into the hall before she saw the knob turn, as she reached out to push the door closed, Ryan stepped in, slowly. Meg’s heart began to beat faster, and before she knew it, her fist was flying at Ryan’s face, fueled by a rage that she wasn’t so sure she was even in control of. He clearly saw it coming, he had to, his eyes burned holes in her, they were then downturned and his eyebrows rested closely to his eyes. Before contact, she saw his eyes close and his jaw clench, her heart was beating slowly again, the seconds dragged on forever, forcing her to look at Ryan for longer than she wanted to, he was going to take her punch, and she knew he wasn’t going to return it, or interrupt the rage filled missile that was her fist. Her anger flared once more and her heartbeats compacted back to the rushing pace they had been, she only felt her heart and her fist as it crashed into Ryan’s jaw, sending him reeling against the door he had just come through.  


***

  


Her breathing was ragged, she couldn’t help but stare at the man that sat on the floor of her room, he breathed slowly and looked only at the floor upon which he sat. After a few minutes of silence, he finally spoke, “are you done?” was all he said.  


“Fuck you,” was all that was returned.  


Silence once more, and this time, Ryan stood slowly, clearly hurt from the pummeling he had just received at Meg’s hands, it was clear to Meg that he hoped this would get all her anger out of her system. Meg wasn’t sure whether it had worked or not. Next, Ryan took one step towards her and held out the bundled up cloth he held, which during the course of the beating he had never let go of even once. He offered it to Meg, and when she took it, he turned and limped towards the door, one hand clutched at his ribs. She looked down at the cloth, clearly, it was a shirt, with some sort of light green design, when she unfurled it, a tear rolled down her cheek as memories rushed back from a time long before any of this had ever happened, long before Meg knew she was in love with Ryan. She turned to question Ryan, but he was already gone. She sat down on her bed and stared at the simple design of the shirt, the guns were so similar to the one Ryan wielded, and she remembered her gift to him. But before Meg could continue on her leisurely stroll through her fond memories, her phone rang once again, this time, she knew she had to answer, patience wasn’t a virtue that Collins and his goons held in high esteem, and forty-seven calls was forty-six calls too many for them to have not received an answer.  


“Turneeyyyy!” came Trevor’s voice over her phone, “I was worried about you, I thought for sure that those big bad Fake AH guys had killed you. Glad to hear that you’re fine though.”  


“Yeah, I’m great,” came her sharp reply.  


“Right. Listen Meg," he said, ignoring the sharpness of her tone, "we gotta talk about that job we were gonna pay you for, it’s been days and we know those AH dumbasses haven’t gotten the drive to their buyer, and we think it's time you made good on your contract and brought it to us.”  


“I-I can’t, I don’t know where Geoff keeps it,” she rushed out, forgetting her previous sharpness and hoping Trevor would forget it, but knowing he wouldn’t.  


“Well, guess you better find it, huh? Now listen, we know you like the little scam you’re running up there with those idiots, getting a nice cozy bed and a small army for protection, but we hope that those assholes haven’t corrupted our little Doll. So to help encourage you a bit, we actually found out about the one guy being called in for help on this big heist, and he’s agreed to help us with a little job we have for him in there.”  


“What are you talking about?”  


“Some kid, Ray Nar-something-or-other. He’s on a mission for us on the inside, don’t worry though it’s nothing awful… That is, unless you flake on getting us that drive.”  


“Why not just have him do it?”  


“That’d be too easy for him, he could just slaughter the entire building and leave with the drive. No, I want you to steal from these assholes, I want you to betray this little family you’re trying to build up around you to make you feel safe, because I'll be damned if you having a change of heart is going to screw me out of the millions that that drive are worth!”  


“What… What is he going to do, if I don’t bring the drive?” Meg asked, stealing herself for the worst.  
“Simple, he’ll just bring the drive to us… After he kills everyone of those pieces of scum. You know, we’re really okay with receiving the drive whichever way. Making you take it from them is just me liking the way you squirm when someone has a tighter grip on your own life than you do. Next time Doll, don’t flake on your responsibilities.” Trevor bit the last part out angrily, hanging up the phone almost immediately.  


Meg sat stunned on her bed. What would she do now? She had no idea.


	5. Chapter 5

# Chapter 5

###  _“It was the lie that I thought had hurt, though more likely was that the truth caused me the most pain…” -S.D._

“Hey Rye? Do you really think that’s a good idea?” 

“Course it is Ash, check it out right? I can practically see the entire city from here, if that fucker leaves his office building, his brains go all over the pavement.” 

“So, is this what you normally do when Geoff puts you on a job alone? You just sit on the roof of the office, and literally scope out the target with your sniper?” 

“Well, no, not usually, I just, you know… Wanted some time alone.” 

“Ryan, I know what this is about, but you’ll get nowhere by isolating yourself from all of us, least of all Meg.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ryan said between sips of his beer, he recalled a time when just the thought of drinking had made him gag, it had been five days since he had his first drink, and now he spent most of the day drinking. He still thought about Meg everytime that he looked at Ashley, and with her sleeping in his room, it made it extremely improbable that he wouldn’t think of Meg at some point in the day. The whole team had noticed that Meg no longer left her room unless absolutely necessary, and when she did, she kept her distance from Ryan. Everywhere he went, he received questions and concerns on their short-lived relationship, they had had sex two nights before Geoff told everyone, and apparently broken up that night, though nobody commented on Ashley living in his room, despite the many other floors of the building with rooms. He also didn’t necessarily mind, it felt good to have someone to sleep next to, and he also didn’t necessarily mind the no sex he was having with both Ashley and Meg. He figured Meg would never talk to him again, and that Ashley simply had no desire to be involved with anyone sexually, and though the sexuality wasn’t there, they were still incredibly fond of each other. Ryan took to holding Ashley every night as she would often sob softly as they crept into the late hours of the night, he held her close and would slowly rub her head, hoping to smother her low weeps in his embrace. His mind snapped back to the present, he felt an icy stare and craned his neck behind him to see Ashley, with her hands on her hips, and her beautiful eyes attempting to burn straight through him. 

“Well?” she said, clearly having repeated herself several times already. 

“Well, what?” he responded, hoping she wouldn’t be too upset he wasn’t listening. 

“Can’t you talk to Meg? Please? You’re miserable Ryan, everyone’s worried about you, which, y’know, is kinda cliche, but it’s true.” 

“She doesn’t want to talk to me Ash, do you honestly think I haven’t tried? I go up to her room everyday, and now she doesn’t even tell me to go away, she just sits in silence until I get tired and leave of my own volition, It’ll be a cold day in hell before she talks to me again.” 

“You really think so? Have you tried just going into her room by force? Y’know, be more aggressive, force the issue.” 

“Last time I went into her room, she beat the shit out of me Ash.” 

“Only because you let her Rye, do you honestly expect me to believe that you couldn’t take every member of Fake AH, much less her?” 

“That’s not the point, the point is, she doesn’t want anything to do with me.” 

“Yeah, but fortunately, you guys have a mission together soon! Geoff should be filling you guys in on it in a few hours!” 

“Wait, what? When was Geoff going to tell me this?” 

“Hmm, if I had to guess, I’d say, not until an hour before the mission was set to start since, it isn’t all that big a deal.” 

“Damn, when is the mission then?” 

“I think… it starts around 6…” 

Ryan’s jaw dropped and he jerked around to look at Ashley, “That’s in like, less than two hours Ash! I’ve still gotta take out this business jerk across town!” 

“Well, he’s about to get away scrub,” Ashley responded, so calmly Ryan almost didn’t react. He shook his head and turned around to his sniper. 

“Fuck,” Ryan muttered before pulling the trigger, he didn’t stick around to see if the bullet made its mark, he knew it did, “screw you Ash,” Ryan said as he passed Ashley and returned inside the building to prepare. 

“Whatever Rye,” giggled Ashley, walking over to collect Ryan’s sniper. She cradled it in her arms as she too returned inside to Ryan’s room, hoping to store the sniper in his closet. On the way down past the fifth floor, she saw Meg making a mad dash to her room, practically naked before she crossed the threshold, she couldn’t help but giggle as she continued down. She knew Ryan and Meg would make up, she could see when he got lost in thought, and she knew that his thoughts were always about Meg, especially whenever he looked at Ashley and just became lost gazing a thousand miles away. Ashley hoped that everything would work out, and maybe, this mission would force the first step in the recovery of their relationship. Once she was on the fourth floor, she saw Ryan rush out, pulling his jacket on, the one that Ashley knew now, was a very expensive birthday gift from Meg, being made of some lightweight and very bulletproof metal. 

“ASH!” came a shout from downstairs. 

She peered over the edge of the railing, spotting Geoff before replying, “What’s up Geoff?” 

“Have you seen Meg? I need to brief her on the mission!” 

“Yeah, she’s in her room, she should be down pretty soon, you don’t think you could have given them a bit more warning Geoff?” 

“Ash, you asked me to do this, if it were up to you, I’d have told them yesterday and they would’ve found reasons to refuse, this way, they have no excuse.” 

“Alright, whatever you say.” Ashley sighed and turned to go in Ryan’s room. 

“Can you please go tell her to hurry up though?” Geoff said, a little hesitation in his voice. 

Ashley forewent her response and opted to give Geoff a menacing glare, to which she received a shrug and turn of the head, she continued into Ryan’s room. Inside, and once the sniper was successfully stored in its case, Ashley proceeded to undress and headed towards the shower, when she stretched her arms to take off her shirt, she groaned in soreness, it had been only a couple of days since her re-introductory mission, and she was still experiencing the soreness of almost six straight hours of mantling and brawling. She greeted the gentle heat of the shower with a sigh and let her body loosen up in response to the rapid pitter patter of the droplets on her skin. 

She listened intently as Ryan returned around twenty minutes later into the room, stomping and searching his room for something. When he found what he was looking for, he left the room once more, and seemed to head downstairs. Ashley cocked her head and mumbled to herself, “the mission isn’t for another hour at least,” then she peered out of the bathroom, wearing only a towel and saw everything still in proper order, no sign of a search. Curiosity welled, and with little regard for who might see her, she began to snoop around the room. Drawer by drawer, she looked through every single one in the room, and then moved on to the closet. Inside, she found a tiny box that she’d never seen before, it had been sealed with clear tape, and was now lying open with nothing inside, it looked only a few inches across, and Ashley wondered what Ryan might’ve had in the box. A small sigh left her mouth and she returned to the task of getting dressed before also preparing for her briefing on her first mission, though, as she removed her towel, Ryan ran back into the room, shielding his eyes quickly and slamming into the now shut closet door. Ashley giggled and bent over to pick up the blanket once more walking over to Ryan who stood stumbling for the closet door handle, she reached around him and made to open the door when someone else came running into the room. 

“Ryan, Geoff needs to talk to us about a change-” Meg was cut short when she saw Ashley, naked, hugging Ryan from behind, with the door to the room COMPLETELY open, “right,” she finished, and backed out of the room, shutting the door as she did so. 

Ryan had stood frozen in place when Meg came running in, and he felt Ashley also freeze, with her hand on the door to the closet, he refused to turn around and instead made for the exit, with his back to Ashley the entire way. When he finally reached the door, he stumbled his way out and thumped down the stairs faster than Ashley had thought possible. Once again, they had been caught in a compromising position… Why had she not thought to just put the towel on and let Ryan open the closet on his own? Because she was a fool, that was the short, and most honest answer. She still wanted that contact they had all those years ago, she still yearned for Ryan to be hers, and sleeping together with no possibility of things happening, just wasn’t close enough for her. She creased her eyebrows between her fingers and shut her eyes, she needed to control how she felt, but with Ryan it was nearly impossible, she had loved him so long, though she knew Meg had loved him far longer. And Ryan loved Meg, that much was certain, he tried to drown his thoughts of her, but Ashley knew it didn’t work. She looked out the window, and saw the sun began to be eclipsed by the Maze Bank building, it was still early, though she figured that was a testament to how tall the building really was. Once more, she sighed and set about getting dressed. 

***

It was getting colder as Ryan and Meg approached the exchange site, Geoff had said that Collins and his gang were spotted by Michael earlier in the week, and so, Ray had been sent to the top of a cliff a ways from the site to provide overwatch. Meg had rearmed with her usual assortment of small handguns, and Ryan had brought his pistol and rifle, his classic armaments. Less than two miles away, they received word from Ray that the place was clear except for the buyer and his two bodyguards. Ryan continued driving up the mountain road giving an occasional glance to Meg, whose eyesight remained fixed on the sky outside of her window. He frowned and gave the accelerator a little more push, to hopefully shorten the rest of the ride in. 

It was now almost eleven and Ryan stepped out into the thin barely breathable air of Mount Chilliad, the suitcase was in his hand as he walked to the buyer. He heard the door open and shut as Meg too walked out, at this, the men at either side of the buyer tensed and reached for their weapons, Ryan raised an eyebrow and looked back at Meg, who was still walking, and didn’t seem to mind the sudden tension. Ryan stopped in front of the buyer and bent down to place the suitcase on the ground, as he did so, the buyer spoke in a grave tone, “I see you now align yourselves with dishonorable rats like her aye?” Ryan quickly jerked back up and looked back and forth between Meg and the buyer before stuttering his reply, “yes… well no, you see… she works with us now yes, but she doesn’t have any ulterior motives if that’s what you mean, she’s part of the family now,” he noticed Meg wince slightly at the mention of family. 

“You are a fool, she is untrustworthy, no doubt she has been planning a cunning betrayal from the very start!” 

“No! She wouldn’t! I know she wouldn’t, please, just take the device and go. I trust you have the money?” 

“Of course, here,” with a snap of his fingers, the left guard produced a briefcase, which of course contained the money, “now, if you don’t mind,” he continued, before pulling out a pistol and aiming it at Meg. 

“NO!” Ryan screamed, but he was too late, the shot sounded, and he heard the disgusting splash of blood as the bullet ripped through its target. A brief second passed, stretched by the his horror of Meg being shot at at such close range and with almost no warning, though when his sense of horror and time normalized themselves, he was shocked. Meg was still stood standing. Before Ryan could process what had happened, the two guards drew their guns, only to be shot as well, one by Meg, the other, presumably by Ray. Thank god he had come along. 

“Sorry Ryan,” Meg mumbled, stepping closer to Ryan 

“Don’t worry about it Meg, that dude is insane, I mean-” he didn’t finish, he felt the cold touch of a gun against his torso, he looked down and saw Meg’s gun pressed against him, “Meg… What are you doing?” 

“I’m so sorry Ryan!” She gasped out as tears welled in her eyes, then, Ryan saw Ray running up from behind the car. 

“Ray? How did you get here so fast?” Ryan said bewildered and still in shock from what Meg was doing. 

“You know, one of Trevor’s guys has taken point up at my spot, I’ve been just back there this whole time,” he said, smiling wickedly. 

It took only a second for the full meaning of Ray’s words to sink in, “What the hell! You’re working with Collins and those other douchebags?” 

“Yeah, we both are!” Ray said, placing a hand on Meg’s shoulder. 

“You pieces of shit,” Ryan bit out, slowly reaching for his gun, when a bang sounded, “Agh!” he screamed, and fell to the ground with his hands pressed against where the bullet had struck him, not totally piercing his leg, but definitely biting off a piece of muscle from the edge. 

“Calm down there Ryan, we’re trying to be calm about this. Now, Meg and I are taking the drive, AND, the money. You get to stay out here and find some other way back into the city, though, be careful, I hear it could take days to walk all the way back,” He said laughing as he picked up both briefcases, holstering his gun, “Let’s go Meg,” he said nodding at the car. 

“No!” She shouted, kneeling down next to Ryan, and began to turn her gun towards Ray 

“Ugh, you dumb bitch!” He groaned, before smashing one of the briefcases into her head, knocking her unconscious, “Y’know, Trevor said to leave the punishment to him, though I just can’t resist getting one good hit in. C’mon, Trevor’s already really angry at you, just wait till he finds out you tried to kill me on top of everything else!” He placed a briefcase under his arm, and slowly dragged her now limp body to the car with the other. 

As the car roared away, Ryan sat up and pulled out his phone, barely a signal, but it would have to do. His leg screamed as he attempted to stand, so he opted to stretch his arm up instead, begging for the signal to strengthen. One bar. Two bars. One bar. Nope, looks it wasn’t going to get better. He searched for Geoff’s contact, and called it once he found it. It was several seconds before it finally rang, and several rings before Geoff actually picked up. 

“Ryan?” 

“Geoff,” Ryan groaned, “Ray got the shit, and he’s taken Meg too!” 

“Woah, wait, what?” 

“He left his post to one of Collin’s people, apparently he’s working for them, and maybe Meg was too, but he knocked her out and took her along with the money and the drive. Also, he shot my leg and stole the car.” 

“Shit… come get you… a chopper soon… sit tight.” 

“Okay, make it quick though Geoff, I think Trevor is gonna hurt her.” 

“God damn, we’ll go… quick as we… Ryan, I bet they took her to… down near the beach.” 

“Alright, see you soon Geoff.” 

***

The blades of the helicopter whirred with incredible speed as they took off into the air, a dust cloud slowly fading as they distanced themselves from the mountain road. Ashley struggled to hold Ryan down as she gently dabbed at the wound with a rag soaked in alcohol, “Gavin, hold his leg still!” she shouted over the whir of blades and rush of wind, “Jesus Rye, I don’t remember you being such a big baby!” 

“Shove it Ashley, he practically shot off my entire leg!” 

“Rye, the hole is less than an inch diameter, you’ve had splinters larger than that!” 

“C’mon, just patch it up! It’s killing me!” 

“I am, I am! Damn, having it sewn up isn’t gonna exactly take away the pain Ryan! You’re still not going to be able to do much, I suggest you stay in your bed for awhile,” she said slowly sticking the now ready needle through Ryan’s skin. 

“What? No, I gotta go find, uh, the money! I’m not just gonna sit on my ass while everyone else cleans up after me!” 

“Rye, you’ll get to save Meg, we will as a team, but right now, they’re just going to do some recon to see if Meg is actually at the beach hideout, you are in no condition to go out there.” 

Ryan made a sound somewhere between a growl and a sigh, receiving a very lengthy sigh from Ashley as she pulled the stitches taught and cut the thread. She cleaned the wound some more and gave Ryan a gentle pat on the chest before standing and going to her seat opposite Ryan. He attempted once more to stand, and though the pain was still fierce, he found it more bearable after the thorough cleansing it had just received. He limped to his own seat and let his head sag down, his hands dangled inwardly supported by his elbows on his thighs. For what seemed like the millionth time in a little more than a week, he thought of Meg, or specifically, what Meg meant. She meant love, undying love that would last for years, that was the most obvious thing. She meant sadness, though it was a sadness that didn’t really seem to matter when they were together, it was one that until they were ultimately separated, meant very little. She meant many abstract thoughts swirling through his head like wisps of cloud in the sky, ever changing and never the same, though always similar to the clouds of years long past. She meant the world to him. That was it, she meant the world, in its vast and cruel entirety, from one edge of the world to the other, all of it. He involuntarily bit his lip, staring so harshly at the ground, any observer might think he was trying to look through the floor of the helo. 

“I have to go, Ash, I need to save Meg.” he mumbled, slowly lifting his eyes to meet hers. 

“I know Ryan, and you will, we all will, but right now we don’t even know where they’re holding her!” 

“Ash, I can’t sit around and wait to find out where she is, if we wanted to, we could raid all of their hideouts, it’s not like we don’t know where they all are.” 

“Rye, please, just be patient, we’ll get her back, we won’t let her get hurt.” 

Ryan grunted and looked away from Ashley, opting to stare out of the helicopter to the ever darkening cityscape that was flying past far below them. The lights of the skyscrapers and houses alike twinkled like stars, and when he squinted his eyes, he saw the lights stretch vertically, mesmerising him as he fell deeply into his thoughts. 

***

Meg let out a soft sob as she tried at the rope once more, still it was tight around her wrists, and stil, Trevor paced the room, occasionally stopping in front of her before sighing and walking again. She felt a sharp pain in her left side with each breath, and tried with much difficulty, to control her ragged breathing. Finally, she looked up to see Trevor pacing back and forth, eyes held intently on her and the bruises that surely covered her body. He held only a bat now, and though he had not used it yet, she knew it was only a matter of time before he lost patience and let it smash against her already weakened body. 

“Meg, once more, because I care about you, are you ready to give yourself and your abilities to me and _my_ little family, instead of that useless group of petty thieves?” Trevor said, leaning over and placing his hand on Meg’s chin. 

“Shove your offer up your ass Collins! I’m not hurting Ryan, I love him, and I love the rest of the crew too!” 

“Wrong answer sweet cheeks,” he said raising his arm to bring the bat down, before the door came flying open. 

“Trevor! I-It’s them, it’s Fake AH, or at least one of their armored cars, w-we don’t know how many are in it, but they’ve already blown past the guards and are working their way through the compound as we speak!” 

“Saved by the bell, doll. Alright, get everyone downstairs to the bunker, I’ll personally meet whoever is here, I still have a bargaining chip. Did you hear that sweet cheeks? I bet it’s your knight in shining armor, here to save the day!” Trevor said, unholstering his pistol, and passing the bat to his other hand. Meg’s breath caught in her throat, there was no way Ryan could have known where she was, Trevor had dozens of hideouts in Los Santos and some even in Sandy Shores. Meg didn’t even know where she was. She hoped, for Ryan’s sake, that he had brought at least a couple members of the team, but Meg knew that wouldn’t be the case. 

***

Ryan walked out of his room silently, careful not to disturb Ashley, who still slept peacefully on the bed, he felt bad about disobeying her but refused to leave Meg in the clutches of someone like Trevor. He looked once more at his phone, several small blips lit up on the app he had opened on his phone, and while most of them were stacked on top of the current location of their safehouse, four blips were blinking elsewhere in pairs of two. One of the such pairs was down by the Vespucci beach hideout of Trevor’s, while the remaining pair were on the Northeast side of Los Santos just North of where N.O.O.S.E was located. Ryan whispered a silent thank you to God that everyone apparently still wore their dogtags, even Meg who he was sure had sworn off everything Ryan. He made his way to the heist room and picked up his gear, he was already wearing the jacket Meg had gotten him, now he picked up the pistol she had engraved and carried his mask in one hand. Hoping to make a quick exit, he shuffled to the door, only to be stopped cold by Ashley along with Michael and Gavin. 

“I wonder where you could be off to at such a late hour,” Ashley chided, “looks like you’re all suited up for a night on the town though, huh?” 

“Ash-” 

“No, Ryan, I know about your little dogtags, alright? I’ve already told everyone about it, of course.” 

“Oh… Well,” Ryan stammered, thinking of a way to not anger his teammates anymore, “I-I know that it may not have been the most trusting thing I’ve done, b-but I had to keep tabs on everybody! Make sure they were safe, and y’know… Know if anyone was up to something shifty.” 

Michael chimed in, “damn Ryan, I’m finding it kiiiiinnd of hard to look at you right now! How could you not trust anyone to tell this kind of shit to? It’s so fucked up!” 

“Guys, please, it wasn’t meant to be insulting, I just have trust issues okay? And look, now I know where Meg is, so I can go and save her!” 

Ashley held up her hand, signaling Ryan to stop, “No Rye, WE are going to save Meg, I’ve already called Geoff and Jack back to base, we’re going as a team!” 

Ryan could only groan as he slumped down onto the couch in the building’s lobby, he had hoped not to get anybody else into danger, but it looked like it might be more difficult than he thought to stop everyone from tagging along. 

“Fine, everyone needs to get geared up then, I want to leave now! Call Geoff and Jack, and tell them to start heading to the airfield in Sandy Shores, I’ll start heading there now, and you three can follow once you’re geared up.” 

Gavin and Michael nodded and dashed to get their equipment, Ashley stood in front of Ryan, coldly staring him down. It was at this moment that he realized she was already geared up, “I’ll come with you Rye, three teams of six seems a bit more stable than a team of one, two, and three. You don’t mind me being on your squad do you? I mean, it’s not like you were planning on ditching us and going after Meg yourself right?” she said flatly. 

“Of course not, let’s go.” 

They set off shortly after. Ryan surprising Ashley by taking the 15 instead of the 13 which was a shorter and less roundabout way of getting to Sandy Shores. She glared at Ryan for awhile before finally speaking, “Why are we going the long way Ryan? Aren’t you in a rush to save Meg?” 

“We can drive faster on the 15 without getting pulled over, it’ll be quicker, trust me.” he said unconvincingly, as his eyes darted back and forth between Ashley and the road ahead. As great as he was at lying, he was hopeless at lying when it came to Ashley, and she knew that. He felt sweat beginning to bead on his forehead, and attempted to keep his face stony as he drove. No different than any other time he's tried to get one past Ashley, she just stared at him with an eyebrow raised. Given enough time, Ashley's stare could wear down a mountain, and because of that, a mere mortal man stood absolutely no chance of remaining intact after receiving an icy stare from her. He breathed deeply and hoped that she would disengage her glare, hoped that she might believe him up to the point when he stopped at the safehouse and said _"This is it!"_. Of course, Ryan's hopes were crushed in moments, his nervous looks, and stiff pose, a dead giveaway. _Betrayed by my own body_ he swore under his breath. 

“Where are they actually holding her Ryan?” Ashley asked before setting back into her seat comfortably. 

Ryan cursed as he flung his head back to hit the seat, “The hideout near N.O.O.S.E,” he whispered, almost to himself. 

“Dammit Ryan, I’m calling everyone else, I can’t believe you’d want to go fight an entire gang all on your own, you’re fucking crazy!” She chided him as she reached for her phone and dialed one of the crew members, her eyes were shut and her eyebrows pinched together by the force of her fingers and anger. 

Ryan reached out an arm to try and stop her, but Michael had already picked up, “Michael! Ryan lied, they’re holding Meg near N.O.O.S.E… Okay good, then you can still get here quickly… Yeah, they shouldn’t be too far along either… We’ll recon the place… Yeah… Alright, see you soon,” she hung up and exhaled slowly before turning to Ryan, she eyed him carefully, taking in every detail of his worried body language. Meg was really important to him, and for whatever reason, he had decided that he should be the only one to go and attempt a rescue. She almost scoffed at the idea of Ryan trying to play hero, and probably dying as a result of his misinformed attempt at said heroism. She spoke softly, “Don’t try so hard to get yourself killed Rye…” 

Ryan only spared her a quick glance before turning away to look back at the road. They were only an hour away.


	6. Chapter 6

# Chapter 6

###  _“... But in the end, what can we say? Sorry? The sincerity of an apology is lost on a corpse...” -S.D_

“Ryan, I can’t really see anything, just some guards on patrol,” Ashley said, peering through the night vision binoculars, “Ryan? Did you hear me?” She questioned into the radio. 

“Yeah! Y-yeah, just some guards, I think we can take ‘em Ash, let’s go in! Every second we wait, is another second that Trevor is hurting Meg!” he punctuated his sentence by smashing his fist against the dashboard of the car, causing Ashley to flinch. 

“Ryan, how many times do I have to remind you to have patience? There could be dozens more guards inside, the view from out here might not accurately represent their manpower,” Ashley said gently, hoping to calm Ryan down. He didn’t catch on. 

“Fuck them! I’ll slaughter a million of them to save Meg, do you really think any number of them will be enough to stop me?” He shouted, and then regretted when he heard a small gasp at the other end of the radio, “I-I’m sorry Ash… I didn’t mean to shout, it’s just… I-I don’t know…” 

“Rye… I get it, you love her, you really really do. I know what that’s like, and I know that Meg knows it too. But you can’t let your anger throw you into situations that you might not come out of alive! What good is saving Meg, if you’re not alive as well? I’m just saying, think this through, everyone else can’t be more than twenty minutes away. We’ll get her back.” 

Ryan couldn’t stand it however, the idea that Meg could stand even a second more of that bastard doing unspeakable things to her. He had to go in, before it became too much for his thoughts to bear. As much as he tried however, he couldn’t control his thoughts. Pain, unimaginable pain, all because of him, because he had to drag her back in by professing his love, and then shattering her heart that very day. Maybe she hadn’t been a great friend, hell, she might have been less trusting of others than Ryan, and far more interested in self preservation. She had spent most, if not all, of her life under immense stress and a relentless barrage of emotional and physical blows that would blindside her at every turn. He thought back to the first day he had met her, what it had been like to meet and fall in love with someone almost instantly. 

***

Ryan stepped through the threshold, tapping the toe of his boots against the step outside to clear off at least some of the snow. Inside, a comfortable wave of heat attempted to escape out of the door but was stopped by the door as it gently shut behind him. Now, Ryan shook with all the ferocity of a wet dog, some yet unmelted flakes fell from his hat and scarf, melting either as they fell or as they hit the huge mat laid out before the doorway. The heat of the indoors licked at Ryan’s face, daring him to take off his thick winter clothes, though Ryan wasn’t sure he wanted to. A man with a heavily tattooed face came up to him, his smirking face looking Ryan up and down, searching for something that he clearly did not think was going to be there. After a few minutes of suffering through his silent judgement, Ryan grunted and attempted to push past the man, much to the man’s chagrin. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” the man inquired as he stepped to the side to block his advancement, “I’ve never seen you before.” 

“I’m here to meet with someone, a guy who said he’d have work for me?” 

“Ah,” the man said, relaxing and turning to head up the stairs in the corner of the room, a thin spiral staircase made of wrought iron, “Yeah, he did mention a guy coming in for an interview,” he said, chortling as he made his way up the stairs. 

“Cool, should I follow you?” 

“You can if you want, the boss isn’t even here though, won’t be for an hour or two, there’s not much upstairs, plenty more to do down here!” the man said, crouching down to peer at Ryan through the railing of the stairs. 

“Oh,” came Ryan’s simple reply, and he turned around to observe the new building he had never been in before. Straight across from where he had entered was the bar, a simple, yet beautiful piece of wood served as the counter, supported by mismatched wooden slats. The stools were all made from different kinds of wood, some clearly weaker than others, having been worn down or chipped where the patrons would most likely place their feet. Where Ryan stood was an area of the floor covered in a fancy rug with swirls of gold around the edges of the royal blue patterns. A coffee table sat perfectly centered on the rug surrounded by grey couches that sat low to the ground. Ryan sat down on one of the couches casting a glance to the other side of the room, where there was a billiards table and several arcade & pinball style machines, with a lone jukebox playing what Ryan could now recognize as some sort of twangy love song. Several blips and beeps came from the other side of the room, someone was sat at one of the motorcycle style arcade machines. The saddle clicked and clanked as the player tilted to control the video game. There were only two other patrons in the bar, one whom seemed to be slumped over the bar in a drunken stupor, and the other played pinball next to the motorcycle riding patron. After about fifteen minutes, as the blips suddenly died down and a short buzzing melody played, indicating a game over, the man at the pinball machine smashed his fists against it, spouting curses and unintelligible sentences before smacking the glass full of beer that sat on the machine. The beer flew to one side and shattered against the shoulder of the patron that was still riding the motorcycle. The launcher of the glass disregarded any harm and went to sit down at the bar. Ryan saw as the other patron slowly got off of the motorcycle and turned to face the man that had just thrown a glass of beer at her, it was a woman Ryan now saw, wearing biker leathers that formed to her body in a very flattering way, he turned away to look out the window. He heard a hush of aggressive words and turned once more to face the woman, who now stood over the man that had only moments ago thrown and shattered a mug against her, he didn’t move as the woman whispered obscenities and lectured him, suddenly he stood in an attempt to intimidate the woman. She was having none of it, and as quickly as the man had stood up, he was on his back, out cold from a swift punch delivered with love from the woman. She walked around the bar and poured herself a drink, seemingly at home in this strange bar, arcade, and apparent criminal hideout. Ryan chuckled to himself, opting to look out the window for a moment, he wasn’t just a petty criminal now, he was fully committing to the idea of being a full-time criminal. 

He found himself looking back at the bar, the woman was now seated on one of the stools and kept shooting small glances at the man still “asleep” on the floor, he had been out for almost half an hour. Her back arched occasionally, as if she were uncomfortable being alone at the bar, when she did so, her breasts became more prominent as they revealed how perky and round they were. She had one leg crossed over the other and it showed the strength and thickness of her thighs, they were incredible. Before Ryan could stop himself from staring, he caught the icy glare from the woman at the bar, she peered over her shoulder, her arms still rested on the bar, and she raised an eyebrow before stepping down from her stool and starting towards him. He panicked and turned his head to the window once more and folded his arms in his lap, hoping that the woman wouldn’t actually come up to him. Of course, his hopes were quickly dashed as he felt the couch move with the presence of another person, he opted to continue to stare out the window. He sat for several minutes before his neck began to tighten at the way he had it twisted to look out the window, he finally gave in and slowly turned to face the terrifying woman that had sat next to him. She was insanely beautiful, he decided, her hair was a wonderful shade of blue almost like the sky, though it shimmered like an ocean, her styled eyebrows sat in an expression that conveyed curiosity, though her eyes seemed more to say “move, I dare you”. Her lips were thin and flat, giving no clue as to what might escape her mouth or even if she was capable of making her lips take any shape besides that thin line. His breathing stopped for a moment as his heart rate seemed to slow. Every second he looked at her felt more like an hour, and her eyes blinked away the irritation she must have felt from staring at him for so long. She tilted her head, and once again, Ryan realized he was staring, almost immediately, his heart sped up again and the hours shrank back down to more manageable morsels, she opened her mouth, and the voice that escaped was decidedly the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, like a choir of angels harmonizing over the gentle twinkle of cherubic bells. “Are you okay dude?” she said in her melodic voice. He couldn’t focus himself enough to offer a reply, and so, he decided to make awkward stuttering noises as he persisted in his staring. “Right…” she muttered righting herself and looking across the room they were sat in, “So are you here for the new opening? I’ve only been working here for a couple months myself, it’s alright I guess, though some assholes like that guy over there come in here from time to time. Otherwise, it’s cool, boss man is real chill if a bit… intense.” she said finishing her sentence with what seemed like uncertainty. Once more, Ryan was unable to answer, and he was spared having to by the door suddenly being opened and a young man walking into the bar. Ryan didn’t have time to discern any of his details as the young woman was throwing her arms around him moments after he had entered. “Hey, boss!” she said flirtatiously, batting her eyelashes more rapidly than Ryan thought possible, “How’s things?” 

“Turney, I told you not to hug me, how many times must you be told before you listen?” 

“Aww, c’mon boss man, I’m just trying to be friendly!” she said mock pouting, “When’ll you fold and give in to the hug? Oh!” she exclaimed turning back towards Ryan, “You’ve got a visitor!” 

“Uhm, hi?” Ryan said, waving his hand and standing to shake the man’s hand. 

“You must be the guy that Roman told me about, said you had a record of mostly petty thievery under your belt, that sound right?” 

“Y-yeah, I mean… I didn’t exactly plan on being a criminal y’know? One thing just led to another, and I found out I’m actually pretty good at it, and sure, it is mostly petty theft, but I have done worse. Much worse.” 

“Well then,” the man said, almost sounding impressed, “come with me and we’ll start your interview.” 

“Alright” Ryan said, and he couldn’t hide the slight chipperness of his voice as he said so. 

***

“Really?” the woman who Ryan now knew as Meg said, incredulous, “That was one of your ‘much worse’ crimes? Stealing a painting from some amateur artist’s gallery?” 

“Hey, it was a pretty valuable painting alright?” 

“Oh yeah, how much did you sell it for?” 

“The buyer gave me… two grand… but the equipment costs came out of my pocket…” 

“And I’m guessing that the equipment ran you at least five hundred bucks huh?” 

“Actually… that was more like a grand, I had to buy basically everything as I’d had no professional equipment at that time…” 

“Damn Rye, and you told boss man about this?” 

“Well, no actually, I just told him I stole a valuable painting.” 

“And he didn’t ask for specifics? Bullshit!” 

“Of course he did, I-I just told him what I usually tell people, that I can’t talk about the job or the buyer in too much detail, for my safety and out of respect for the buyer. That seemed to work I think…” 

“Wow Rye, you got some balls lying to boss man like that, I wouldn’t ever do that, that’s for sure.” 

“Hey, why do you keep calling him boss man? Does he not have a name or something? He hasn’t told me his name since I’ve met him, and I’ve never heard anyone call him by anything other than ‘sir’, or ‘boss’.” 

“Well, I’m sure he does have a name, but he doesn’t tell anyone it, Roman doesn’t even know his name, and he’s been working with him for almost fifteen years.” 

“Fifteen years? How do you keep an identity hidden for so long? Surely someone had to have looked him up no?” 

“He’s a ghost Rye, I don’t know how he did it, but he did, and he’s practically untouchable because of it, I don’t think there’s been a single person who has successfully attempted to hurt him in any way, he doesn’t get attached to anything or anyone, a few people have gotten hurt or killed in the past fifteen years in attempts to diminish his power and influence, but none so far have made a dent.” 

“Damn, Is he really all that powerful?” 

“Sure, I mean, last I heard, he had a few cities’ political leaders in his pocket, sometimes even whole counties, pretty sure he controls all of the distribution of weed in several states, and ALL the drugs in San Andreas.” 

“Holy… If he’s so powerful, why is he based in this, no offense, tiny ass place? I’m sure he could afford a skyscraper in San Andreas if this is true.” 

“This is way less conspicuous Rye, boss man knows what he’s doing, this keeps him way further off the radar than a giant skyscraper or even office building would.” 

“I guess you have a point… Now what about you?” 

“Oh? What about me?” She said, tensing a little as she did. 

“I don’t really know actually, maybe some of the stuff you’ve done?” Ryan replied, trying to sound more casual than he felt at that moment. He swore he could hear his heartbeat in his ears, and was sure she could see the veins in his neck pulsing with each ba-bump. He was hoping to slowly get to know Meg, but since he had started working two days ago, he noticed that she had been decidedly more closed off than the other members of their little ‘family’. So far, she deflected, with impressive dexterity, any time that Ryan would try to learn anything about her. Now though, they were alone in the bar, and he had already gotten her two drinks in, he was hoping this would make her more trusting and with any luck, she’d loosen up and stop being so tense. 

She finally responded, “Y’know, mostly petty thievery, like you, though I must say I never took a job so dangerous and as lucrative as stealing from an amateur painter! What else was in your portfolio anyway?” 

“C’mon Meg! You’re not deflecting me this time! Are the things you did really that bad? C’mon you can tell me!” 

“Ryan, I… I really don’t wanna talk about the stuff I’ve done, can you please not ask about it? I know it might not seem like a big deal, but it is to me.” 

“Sorry Meg… I won’t ask about that kinda stuff anymore, but can I at least know about you, as a person? 

“Um, well I, Ryan… It’s difficult for me… It’s just that so many things have happened, I don’t think we have time, and I don’t even know where to start.” 

“The beginning?” Ryan said softly, clearly not getting the hint that Meg didn’t want to divulge her past in any way. 

“Let’s just talk about something else Rye, tell me more about you.” 

“What, why? Can’t you just tell me Meg? I want to get to know you!” 

“I’m just not prepared, Ryan, for that kind of… stuff yet… I’ve never told anyone, and I want to tell you, but it’s not something that is very easy for me to share.” 

“Bull, c’mon Meg, you can trust me! Stop being so closed off! We can ta-” 

“Ryan, would you FUCKING DROP IT?” Meg yelled as she stood up from the bar, rushing off to the door of the building. 

“Woah! Meg, I’m sorry! Please don’t go!” He shouted all too late, as Meg was already out the door. He could do nothing except sigh, and he too made for the door, he needed sleep. 

***

It had been a week now, and though Meg was no longer mad at Ryan, he had gotten no closer at getting her to share anything about her personal life. For his first mission, Meg had been sent along with him, and now they were gearing up for their own separate missions. He occasionally spared a glance in her direction as she pulled on her boots, she caught him staring and punched him in the shoulder before finishing up and heading out. He laughed internally, at least they weren’t fighting anymore. 

***

“What the hell are you talking about?” Ryan said, pushing Roman against the bar. 

“Don’t fucking push me Ryan, and you heard me, Meg’s gone rouge, took the boss’s entire stash from his office.” 

“No way Roman, that’s almost ten million dollars, no way she’d steal it, much less from the boss’s safe.” 

“Then you tell me where the fuck she’s gone, and where that ten mil is! Boss man is already out looking for her with five guys he’s called in from around the country, they’re finding that sneaky little bitch!” 

“Fuck, I gotta go after her too!” He said turning around to run out of the bar, but he was stopped by Roman’s strong hand on his arm. 

“No, you stay here Ryan, we all know you two are real close, and the boss doesn’t want you interfering.” 

“Let go of me Roman, I have to go find Meg!” 

“Listen Ryan, why don’t you… Take a nap” Roman said, only moments before Ryan felt his fist crashing into his head, and suddenly, he was out. 

***

A star twinkled in the darkness, followed closely by dozens more, Ryan groaned as the twinkling became too distracting and bright, he shook his head and the darkness faded away along with the twinkling stars. Roman greeted him with a hand on his shoulder, “stay down Ryan, I’m sorry I had to knock you out, but boss man was very clear about keeping you out of this, Meg betrayed us, you need to understand.” 

“Fuck you Roman, she has a reason for doing this, I know it! Maybe she has some debts to pay off, we need to hear her out!” 

“Kid, you’re delusional, she has no good reason other than wanting nothing to do with our gang, and needing the money to make sure she can live without relying on others. I know you care about her, but she fucked up, and she’s probably going to die.” 

“No, I’m going to help her,” Ryan said, kicking his legs upward into Roman’s face. When it made contact he heard Roman grunt, and then he hit the ground. “ Fuck, I have no idea where she is… Or… Maybe I do.” 

***

“Meg?” he said, walking around the corner slowly. 

“Ryan!” Meg said as she stood up from the bench, “what are you doing here?” 

“I came to see for myself why you stole all that money from the boss, I don’t believe you’re just stealing it because you don’t trust anyone.” 

“Y-you should leave here Ryan, it’s not safe for you to be here.” 

“C’mon Meg, you can trust me with whatever you’re dealing with! You don’t need to deal with all of your problems alone!” 

“Ryan…” Meg wiped something from her face and smiled at Ryan as tears streamed down her face, “thank you,” and she stepped forward spreading her arms for a hug. 

Ryan smiled back at Meg and wrapped her up in his arms. He pressed his face against the top of her head and became intoxicated with the scent of berries. Just as he was about to give in to his impulse and tell her how much he loves her, he felt a warmth spreading down his side. He pulled away from Meg, lifted his coat, and looked down at the slowly spreading red spot on his shirt. He looked back at Meg who was already walking away, and before he could utter a single word, he fell on his face, the cold snow biting at him. 

***

A blur, that’s what Ryan remembered the next two years as, a blur of jobs, bosses, late nights, and loneliness. A lot of people rushed through, some lingered, or tried to, though nobody stayed for long. A blur was what he saw whenever he woke up each day, and when he went out into the soulless uncaring city, to trudge along in his now empty life. A blur of muted colors. A blur of repetitive words, and repetitive motions, where he went from home to base, which was now changing almost monthly when his employers quickly tired of him, from there he would visit a bar near his apartment, and when the drinks blurred his life past recognition he would attempt to find his way home, though most blurry nights he found himself in an alley. A blur that one day became hyper focused on one point, the blur became darkness and he could now only see one thing. It was a young woman, with red hair, different than he remembered, but her glasses were the same as two years before, her gentle features as she rushed through the crowd of midday downtown. 

It was Meg, it had to be. 

***

“Meg!” Ryan shouted, as he fought to push past the compacted crowd before him. She didn’t hear him, or if she did, she tried to ignore him, “Meg!” Now he was running, shoving people out of his way and receiving angry stares in return from some of the pedestrians who were probably in a rush too. Not as big of a rush as he, though. 

Up ahead, his pinpoint focus noticed the now redheaded Meg heading into an alleyway, out of the endless sea of people that enveloped the sidewalk. He ran, almost faster than he thought he was capable of, and managed to reach the alley as the young woman was reaching the other end, at a steady jog. Once more he called her name, and once more the sound was simply lost in the gentle breeze, carried away to god knows where. If he ran full tilt, he might reach her before she was completely lost in the crowd, he decided at once what he was going to do. He ran. Ran until he reached the other end, and into the crowd where he could no longer see the soft shimmer of red hair. He cursed silently and searched frantically for any slight hint at the beautiful woman’s hair. Nothing. 

A few minutes later, Ryan was back on route to return home, his very short chase had actually delayed him about five minutes, and though he had no plans that were time sensitive, he wished that something more had come of the running through the populated street, and sketchy alleyway. Shortly thereafter, he was approaching the door to his complex, though he noted a strange feeling that he had, and the sense of a dark flash in his periphery. He breathed in slowly as he walked in and towards the stairs, checking carefully for someone entering behind him, there was no one. 

On his floor, he once again focused on any sounds that might be out of place, and once again there was nothing. The keys in his jacket pocket jingled slightly as he dug his hands into his pockets, he pulled them out and stuck the correct one into the keyhole. He stopped himself from turning the keys and listened with his ear pressed against the door, there was a muffled sound coming from inside, ever so slight, but it was there. Ryan counted silently to himself, when he reached three, he quickly turned the key and then opened the door. He ran full speed into his bedroom and was greeted by a fist flying in his direction, which he only barely managed to dodge, though the other fist knocked him flat to the floor. He looked at his assailant who was decked out fully in black, before sweeping his leg under them in an attempt to knock them down. When they jumped over his leg, he brought his other leg around spinning so that he landed face down with his arms and legs supporting him, as the attacker tried to kick at his face. He threw himself backwards with his arms, landing now on his ass. When the next attack came, he rolled backwards and then threw himself forward onto his legs, bringing a punch to his attacker. They didn’t dodge, and this time, they were knocked flat. Ryan dropped down on top of them, and gave them another solid punch before ripping the black mask off of their head. The young man stared up at Ryan, smirking slightly before spitting at him. Ryan grunted and then spoke, “What the fuck are you doing in here?” 

“I was just delivering a message, from your old boss!” The young man giggled in reply. 

“What? Which boss?” 

“Oh, come now, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten him already? He has no name I could call him by, but I’m sure you remember ‘boss man’ don’t you?” 

“What?” Ryan said, hesitating for a moment and staring past the man on the floor, “what does he want?” 

“Well, y’see, he has reason to believe that you now know where that little minx that stole ten million big ones from him is, and he wanted me to come tell you to give her up, or die with her!” 

“I have no idea where Meg is! I haven’t seen her since she stabbed me two years ago!” 

“Oooh, boss man is gonna have a hard time believing that Ryan! Keep in mind that he knows where you live, if you try to run, he’ll just find you again! He has it on the best authority that you know where she is, so if you really don’t know, you’d better find out!” he laughed before continuing, “Oh, and I do have a little package from him as well, I was gonna hide it in your closet or something, but you came in a bit sooner than I expected, so it’s just on your bed.” 

“What is it? Some kind of bomb?” 

“Please, it’s just a little gift, take it and keep it near you at all times, per the boss’s request.” 

“Fine.” 

“Now would you mind letting me go? I have other jobs to do, and I don’t have to tell you that boss man doesn’t tolerate unfinished missions!” 

“Get out.” Ryan said simply, standing up and allowing the young man to leave out his door. He exhaled deeply when the man was gone, not realizing he had been holding his breath. 

Inside his room, everything was normal, nothing was out of place, except of course for the small box laying on one of his pillows. He picked it up, expecting something of considerable weight, and found that it weighed almost nothing at all, though it was small enough to carry in one hand, it was more comfortable with two, and as he pulled it open, he saw a small glint coming from inside. 

Ryan sat on his bed staring at what had been just moments ago, in the box on his bed. He suspected now, that it wasn’t a bomb, it was far too small, no it was just a simple set of dogtags on a chain. He couldn’t help but to let out a small chuckle as he realized they were probably some sort of tracking device, or some way to communicate with him. Boss man was sure that Ryan was harboring Meg like some kind of fugitive, and he was going to use him to get to her. Unfortunately for the boss or perhaps, unfortunately for him, Ryan had no clue where Meg was, for all he knew, she was already out of town, skipping off across the country. No, Meg was here, she had to be, but before he could think on it some more, his phone rang in the living room. 

“Ryan,” came the familiar voice of Roman from the other side of the phone, “I see you’re not wearing the boss's gift, he’d be so hurt if he knew.” 

His breath caught for a moment, “How do you know I’m not wearing ‘em?” 

“They’ve got a small camera on ‘em Ryan, c’mon, what good is tracking if you can’t see what your prey sees?” 

“I don’t want to wear them, and I won’t.” 

“Not really a choice here Ryan, just put ‘em on, and keep ‘em on, boss man thinks Meg’s got a sort of ‘bug out’ schedule with every city she goes to. If we don’t see her with you before the end of the month, you’ve got nothing to worry about, until then though, you’re under pretty heavy suspicion.” 

“Who told him that I know where Meg is? I haven’t seen her in years.” 

“She did,” Roman said simply. 

“What?” 

“He found her a few days ago and contacted her, obviously threatened her, and she said you’d never let him get to her.” 

“Mother. Fucker. She lied to him!” 

“Sure, man. Just put on your tags and go about your life, I’ll be in touch. 

***

What could it mean? Ryan hadn’t seen Meg since that first time two weeks before, and after she ratted him out to the boss, he was sure she would have some sort of plan to get them both out of it. Then again, she could be using him as a scapegoat, using his presence to distract the hunters before scampering off into the underbrush, never to be seen again. Could that actually be it? Had those fifteen months working together meant nothing? He couldn’t believe that they hadn’t. 

He sauntered over to his couch and flopped down, fiddling with the dog tags as he did so, he couldn’t imagine watching the feed of the camera that dangled on them, he figured it would be far too shaky. But, as the days had dragged on, Roman had proven to be very keen-eyed, calling Ryan within moments of something shifty happening within view of the camera. He tilted up the tags and made a silly face, a few seconds later his phone buzzed. A message popped up: _cut that shit out_. It was followed by a series of smiling emoticons, Roman obviously had this one pretyped at all times. 

As he went to bed, he almost tore off the chain and tags, but remembered how much Roman had bugged him before when he attempted to take off the chain for any moment of time. And so, Ryan laid down with the chain hanging around his neck, ending up perfectly smothered by his blanket. 

A soft rapping on his window startled him mere moments later, when he had just started dozing off. He opened his eyes and looked at the bedroom window, he almost shot up with surprise when he saw Meg there. She quickly put a finger to her mouth and slowly slid the window open, shifting herself into the room. Ryan obeyed and stayed lying down on his bed, watching Meg carefully as she shuffled over to his bedside. 

“Hey Rye,” she whispered softly. 

“Hey,” he replied, just as softly, hoping the dogtags wouldn’t pick up the noise. 

She mimed for Ryan to take off the dogtags and walked out of his room and into the living area. He slowly slid the chain off his neck, keeping the dogtags smothered in the blankets as much as possible. After a few minutes, he was out the door and in the area where Meg now sat on his couch, head in hands, elbows on knees. 

“Rye, I need help,” Meg began, “I’m pulling off this sort of ‘heist’ type thing, and I need someone else there with me.” 

“What? Why do you need my help?” Ryan half laughed, half snorted. 

“Because Ryan-” but she was cut off. 

“More importantly, why do you think I would help you in any way? You stabbed me! And you basically sold me out a couple weeks ago to boss man and Roman! They’re gonna kill me if they find out that I talked to you!” 

“Ryan, please, be quiet,” Meg said, casting a quick glance to the bedroom, “I know I’ve been nothing but horrible to you, but c’mon! This heist could make us millions, It’ll only take a few hours tonight, and it’ll be done! I’ve already done most of the work.” 

“How are we making ‘millions’ in only a few hours?” Ryan said, forgetting his original opposition at the prospect of helping Meg. 

“It’s an armored truck, with lots of diamonds and shit, I’ve already figured out the route it’ll take, and how many escorts it’ll have, we just need to get in and out real quick!” 

“So you don’t actually have a plan, is what you’re saying, right? Because, I don’t know if you know anything about real life, but, those escorts will take us out before we can even get within a hundred feet of the damn truck,” Ryan said, doubt quickly building in his voice, “Suppose we can take out however many escorts-” 

“Two cars, eight men!” Meg interjected. 

“Right,” Ryan muttered, pinching his eyebrows together, “suppose we take them out, and the armored truck guys too somehow. How much shit is in the truck? And how are we going to transport that shit away, just in that same truck?” 

“No! I’ve got it planned out Rye! I’ve got a high caliber sniper, and a few explosives for you to use on the vehicles. The route they’re taking, takes them on a very small stretch of road between two huge ass hills. We stake out at the top of the hills, and when they show up we take the escorts out quickly with the explosives, and I take out the guys in the truck. Once we do that, we go down and steal all the shit, put it in some duffel bags and drive off, I have a van ready to go for us.” 

Ryan sat for a moment, he wasn’t sure about the plan, but Meg seemed extremely confident, and Ryan thought she looked extremely convincing in her bike leathers, clearly they had now become her sort of heist uniform. 

“Alright,” he said, not a sliver of doubt playing into his voice, “If you’re this confident that it’ll work.” 

“I am.” 

***

Where had the plan gone wrong? Thinking back to a few hours prior, Ryan figured that it was the plan itself that was doomed to fail, the idea that some hills were enough of an advantage to take out an armored vehicle with escorts, was ridiculous. Even if they hadn’t been spotted, the _‘huge ass hills’_ were actually little more than bumps in the road, even staying prone behind them would have barely provided sufficient cover. From there, things only got worse and worse, not only did the convoy consist of three vehicles filled with trained men, the two escorts actually turned out to be just as armored as the truck. As quickly indicated by the lack of damage from the explosives Ryan had laid out. They had been spotted mere moments before the first car drove over the mine, they screeched to a halt barely managing to set it off. Within a few seconds, eight men were on them, guns firing. Not even sparing him a glance, Meg took off towards the van at the bottom of the hill. She hit it before Ryan did, and roared off without giving him a chance to climb in. He almost stopped running then, shocked at the turn of events. Behind him however, the men called out orders of surrender and fired several warning shots in his general direction. 

Ryan ran, he ran for what seemed like hours, never slowing down, and only occasionally casting a glance backwards. The men no longer followed him, though he figured it was only a matter of time before they returned with their vehicles. By the time he reached the city again, his heart was drumming fiercely, threatening to fly out of his chest. Every breath he took felt like fire in his lungs and the shallowness of his breathing was making him feel lightheaded. He collapsed onto the muddy hillside next to the main road and allowed himself to roll down into the grassy ditch below. 

As he stared into the stars, he recalled a time when the deep blue sky was filled with thousands of stars, stars clustered so densely that the milky way was as visible as the moon. Now, the city lights drowned out most of the twinkling lights in the heavens, leaving only the brightest to fend for themselves. He frowned solemnly at the sky, he was out here left to fend for himself now too, not by the city, but by Meg. He groaned at the thought of walking all the way back to his apartment, it had already been almost six hours since they had initially left, and his home was still almost an hour walk from here. He checked his phone, it was nearly five in the morning. As he tucked it away, it rang with his all too familiar text tone. 

_We know you’re not home Ryan._ He took a moment to process the name of the sender: Blowman, a clever play on his name. 

_We do know where you actually are though… Surprise bitch._

Suddenly, a car screeched to a halt at the top of the hill Ryan had allowed himself to roll down, out stepped Roman, and the boss, though only Roman was armed. Ryan sat stunned, he didn’t know how they had found him, but they sure as hell wouldn’t believe that he hadn’t been out with Meg. 

“Hey Ryan, fancy seeing you out here, we were just out for a nice drive when we noticed you laying down here. Mind telling us what you’re doing out here without your tags?” 

“I-I, um…” Ryan stammered, failing to convince Roman of his innocence. 

“Figures. How about you just tell us where Doll went?” 

“I don’t know, she…” Ryan paused, considering if it was wise to reveal he actually had been with her, “she ditched me out here.” 

“So you have been in touch with her aye?” 

Ryan didn’t offer a response, instead he stood slowly, making sure to fake more injuries than he actually had, which at the moment, was none. He slowly felt behind his back for the pistol he still had tucked in his waistband. As Roman sighed and pulled up his rifle to mow down Ryan, he drew his pistol and fired once. Roman fell like a bag of rocks, but boss man remained unfazed. Ryan took aim at him as well, slowly stepping backwards. 

“Are you sure you want to shoot me Ryan? I know you think that you’ll probably be able to finally live your own life if you do, but I assure you, you won’t. If I’m being honest though, I have no actual reason for you to not pull that trigger. Other than of course, mutually assured destruction. I’m not the only fish in this pond Ryan, in fact, there are fish that are much bigger than you or I. I can’t say for certain that they’ll care about me being dead, but they will care that my chain of command becomes a fractured chaotic mess thanks to you. You see efficiency is everything Ryan, and if you kill me, those big fish are going to find the cause for the lack of efficiency, and eliminate it. They won’t be as patient as I’ve been. So go ahead, do it.” 

Oddly enough, Ryan was sure that he wouldn’t die anytime soon. He was determined in fact, to survive, boss man’s words held no real weight in them. He knew that someone in his command would take over easily once he was gone. This was just a last minute attempt at survival, exposing a hand that held no winning cards. Ryan smiled, noting the boss’s fear flash for only a moment. That one moment was enough. Before he could utter another word, Ryan pulled the trigger, and as he heard the satisfying thump of a body against the ground, he felt free. 

***

_Astra Inclinant Sed Non Obligant_ , Meg thought to herself, that’s what Ryan had said to her almost five years ago when they sat in a clearing of the forest behind the small building that served as their hideout, staring at the stars. At the time, Ryan said it had meant that your destiny is not set in stone, but rather, an array of choices are set out before you, and only you can choose which ones to make. To her, it had meant nothing, and even now, it meant very little, though she was slowly realizing that it meant, Meg alone was responsible for what was happening in her life, not destiny or fate. Still, as she stood on the doorstep to a small apartment building in the slums, she cursed the fact that she was once again bringing him into her world of problems. 

Less than four years ago, she had stabbed him and left him for dead in a small plaza a few blocks away from their old crews safehouse. Two years later, she left him behind on a failed heist, managing to find several thousand dollars in his apartment’s safe, and a couple thousand more in weapons and gear. Now, she stood in the icy wind outside his complex, hoping to gain his assistance once more. This time, the heist was practically already done, the armored truck had been hijacked and successfully replaced with one rigged to lock up while it was on the highway out of town. She had the escape vehicle, a boat, already set to go in the river below where the truck would break down. And this time, the take was significantly less than before, only around a half a mil in gold, which if her math was right, was around fifty pounds give or take. She was almost certain Ryan would try and kill her before hearing her out however, and so she came packing heat. 

She buzzed his number tentatively once more, having had no response the first time, and this time was no different. She sighed, and reached out once more before being caught off guard by a voice behind her. 

“Hey, you need in ma’am?” 

She turned to face the familiar voice, a shy smile spreading on her face, “Yeah, I’ve been out here for like ten minutes Rye.” 

The man’s face turned sour for a short moment, before it relaxed once more, and he let out a deep sigh, “C’mon in Meg.” 

She smiled and followed him into his apartment, a cramped space that could barely qualify as one room. He set down the bag he was carrying, and unzipped it, quickly checking the contents, which Meg saw were a few stacks of hundred dollar bills and a couple of pistols. 

“Just finish a job Rye?” 

“Yeah… What do you want Meg?” He said, zipping up the bag and turning to face her. She noticed a small tinge of anger in his voice, though much less than she had expected. Probably due to the fact that it seemed, he wasn’t hurting for money, that bag had at least thirty grand in it. 

As if reading her mind, Ryan spoke, “Forty grand, assassination, I’ve gotten about four jobs like this this past year. Now back to you, what do you want.” 

“I want to offer you a job-” 

“No thanks,” he said, cutting her words off. 

“Okay, well, it’s not exactly an offer… I really need your help Rye. You’re the only friend I have that can help me with this job, so really… I’m begging for help.” 

Ryan flinched when Meg said friend, but his voice didn’t convey anything other than steady confidence, “We’re not friends, and I’m not helping you with another ‘doomed to fail’ heist.” 

“Ryan, I’ve actually worked this one out!" Meg said, ignoring the way that his words cut into her heart, "I’ve spent weeks planning it, and I’ve spent the past year learning how to do this right! I haven’t had a good score in almost six months, I’m low on funds. I _REALLY_ need your help Ryan. I know you don’t want to trust me, but I’ve been planning this for too long, and I swear to you that I’ll stand with you until it’s over, then you can leave and we’ll never see each other again.” 

“Fine,” he said, walking to his bed and pulling an assault rifle from where the bed met the wall. He set the strap around himself and walked to his door, holding it open for Meg, “You can explain on the way.” 

For once, Ryan was impressed with Meg’s plan, she had chosen a much smaller target, sure it had lots of actual cash in it, but what they were after were the few gold bars it transported. Her plan was much more thought out, and it was simpler too, he said as much to her. Meg smiled and was glad that Ryan wasn’t set on exacting revenge for her previous wrongdoings. 

They drove for only an hour before Meg told Ryan to pull over, they drove down a dirt path, then walked a couple miles to where her escape boat sat in the river. It was a small dinghy, completely black and hidden underneath the bridge. She went over and pulled out two small duffel bags, tossed one to Ryan and pulled a control out of hers. She remembered something and tossed her phone to Ryan, “Pull up the tracking app, it’ll tell you how close the truck is, this takes a while to completely shut it down, so we need a head start on its position.” 

“Right,” responded Ryan, bringing up the simplistic tracker, “It’s about a mile away.” 

“Perfect,” she said, almost too happy as she pressed a series of buttons on the remote, “Let’s take cover under the bridge, they’ll be here any moment, and when we hear the truck, we’ll ambush them as they pop out to check on it.” 

Ryan nodded, as he attached a suppressor to his rifle. They leaned against the wall on opposite ends of the tunnel, Ryan taking the side closer to where the truck was coming from. Meg heard the low rumble of a dying engine and nodded at Ryan, she began her slow climb up to the highway, Ryan beginning shortly after her. At the top Meg fired her pistol once, and heard the somewhat muffled sound of Ryan’s rifle also firing once. They met at the back of the truck, and Meg pressed a couple more buttons on her controller. The doors made a click noise. 

Inside, they found what they came for, two carts, loaded with money, and one with several gold bars. They grinned wickedly at each other and began to load up their bags, the plan had worked. 

***

The boat ride was surprisingly calm, as Meg had explained along the way, the response was quick and pretty excessive. Two police helicopters flew around, spotlights blazing while several cars sped off in different directions and ground forces searched the immediate area. 

Meg let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, glad that they had parked her car a couple miles away, and relatively hidden it. She looked over and saw Ryan’s steely gaze looking out over the gentle turmoil of the ocean. Ah sly grin teased at the corner of her lips and she elbowed Ryan, “C’mon Rye! That was awesome don’t you think? We totally pulled it off, quit being such a downer and enjoy it!” She punched him playfully this time, waiting for a response. It took a moment, but his lips curved into a smile that expressed his excitement, even if it was very reserved excitement. 

The rest of the ride into the harbor could be described as playful, Meg cracked plenty of jokes at Ryan’s expense, and insisted on distracting him with gentle doses of flirting that threatened to distract him. At one point, she leant her head onto him and brushed her lips against his ear, causing him to almost flip the boat, and in turn making him furious, if only for a moment, at her. 

Unloading everything, they got into a van that Meg had also gotten especially for this, and once they had driven to Ryan’s place to drop off the goods, they made a quick run to pick up Meg’s car, noticing a few lingering policemen on their way to its location. 

Once they were back at Ryan’s place, they prepared to go their separate ways, Meg got out of her car just as Ryan came around the van, “Alright Rye, thanks for all the help. I really don’t know what I can do to thank you properly,” she said, stepping ever so slightly closer to him, trying her hardest to be sexy. He stepped back slowly, as if expecting… Well, a knife in his back. She winced at the thought and settled her eyes on the ground. She felt him move a little and he responded, “Don’t worry about it, I’m just glad that it worked out, and that you didn’t, y’know, leave me behind this time.” 

“Y-yeah, sorry about before,” She said, wanting so badly to walk away before she did something that Ryan might regret. But she stayed longer. 

“So, I guess, I’ll… See you around?” He said, after the silence had extended into awkward levels of length. 

“I guess so… And, you can keep the van,” she began, “o-or, you can junk it if you don’t want it, I’m going to be leaving town and can’t take it with me.” 

“Sure, thanks…” 

As Ryan took a sidestep to walk into his apartment complex, Meg placed a hand on his arm, it seemed she was determined to hurt him at any cost, especially for a need like this. She looked up at him, meeting his eyes before speaking, “Rye, I-I don’t really have anywhere to be or go right now… And I really don’t want to be alone,” her voice was quiet, and even she could hear the slight raspiness of her tone. 

“I mean, I guess… You could stay here,” Ryan said, and just like that, he had sealed his fate. 

***

Meg sighed in delight as she hopped off of Ryan and to his side, cuddling almost immediately into his arm. They both breathed heavily and she reached up to wipe back a lock of his hair that had stuck to the sweat on his forehead. He chuckled and stretched his arm down to give her ass a squeeze. She giggled in delight and placed an arm across his chest, feeling the sweat that beaded his defined torso. They lay there, in giddy silence for several minutes, before Meg heard his breathing slow, and felt his muscles relax under her. She got up on one elbow and looked closely at his face, in the dark it was clearly defined by the shadows and pale moonlight filtering through his blinds. Beneath his closed eyelids, she knew his eyes would shine blue like crystal in this light, practically glittering as he would look around the room. His face was recently shaven, and only a little bit of stubble outlined his jaw and lips. His hair was a bit longer than she remembered, though now it fell back in beautiful locks as he lay motionless in bed, she sighed and placed a kiss gingerly on his lips. 

She had told herself she wouldn’t do this anymore, and as she lay in his bed, just recently relieving that tension she had been feeling for almost three years, she knew she had to leave for good this time. As she got ready to leave, she looked at his bag, filled with gold bars and money, she knew it would be wrong, but knowing she would never see Ryan again… She knew he would forget about it. 

She raced downstairs into her car, the two bags striking her as she did, before she could speed off however, she noticed a box in her passenger seat. Meg knew what it was, a weird looking black and blue jacket, the one that Ryan had worn about five years ago. Though, this jacket was far more bulletproof, than the one he used to wear, in fact, she wasn’t sure he even wore that jacket anymore. Quietly she set the bags in the back seat, patting the box lightly as she turned forward once more. This would be the second gift she didn’t give to Ryan, and right now, she was totally okay with not giving it to him, even with his birthday just a few days away. 

***

Meg sat leaning forward in the wooden chair, her head pulled back by the lunatic that had forced her to betray Fake AH. She could hear the sound of gunfire coming down the hallway, many personnel members ran past the door, and many of them were shot dead. With every bullet fired, the sound became louder, and Meg could feel the tightening of Trevor’s grip around her hair, he’s scared of Ryan, she thought. Good. This bastard should be scared of Ryan, She knew as well as anybody how ruthless Ryan could be. More than a year working for a ghost had shown her as much. 

Her words were measured as she spat them out, “Careful how you handle me Collins, Ryan would really hate to see how you’re treating me right now.” 

“Shut it, Doll, I ain’t scared of this asshole! I’ve got a little surprise for our friend Rye-bread!” Trevor said harshly, pushing a button on the earpiece he currently wore, 

“Ryan’s here, get over here, now!” He said into the earpiece. 

“What, calling for backup Collins?” 

“Don’t worry about it Do-” He was cut off by a gunshot whizzing past him and into the metal wall behind him, leaving a dent where the bullet had struck. He looked up in surprise as Ryan slowly walked towards him and Meg. He pressed the pistol roughly against her temple, and hissed out at Ryan, “Don’t get too close Ryan, I get real anxious when too many people are around, wouldn’t want her pretty little head gone would we?” 

“Put it down Collins!” 

“I have a slightly better idea Ryan,” Trevor said, he dug the barrel of his gun deeper into Meg’s head, prompting a grunt from her, “how about you turn around?” It was then that Meg noticed the two heavily armed people right behind Ryan, they both sported assault rifles in their hands and what looked to be another rifle on their backs. Before she could even react, Ryan turned and shot one in the head, diving to the side as he did so to avoid the gunshots from the other guard. Trevor and Meg both flinched as bullets clanged against the metal walls in the room, she took the opportunity to grab Trevor’s gun. In an instant she was on the floor, collapsed from the extensive punishment Trevor had dealt her, gun leveled at Trevor’s head. He breathed out slowly, his eyes shifting to the direction of the still standing guard, who emptied his clip in Ryan’s direction, who was trapped behind a turned over metal desk. She could just barely see his arm as it came up to fire a few shots at the guard. 

“Please Meg, if you give it up, I can tell the guard to let Ryan live, just give me the gun back!” 

“Fuck you Collins!” and a gunshot rang in her ears, but Trevor was quick, dropping to the floor an instant before she pulled the trigger, she leveled it at him again and pulled the trigger once more, receiving only a click sound this time. 

“Did I not mention that there’s only one bullet?” Trevor said, amused by his genius, “that was your chance Turney!” he spat, pulling out another pistol from behind his back. 

Meg’s heart plummeted in her chest, when she looked back to Ryan, she saw that the last guard was now also laying on the floor, dead, and Ryan was running towards her and Trevor. Before Trevor could react to Ryan, Meg threw the gun at his head, knocking him backwards onto the cold floor. He dropped the gun and it fired, she heard the squelch as it hit Ryan in the leg. He fell to one knee and shouted in pain, though for the most part, he looked okay. 

He looked up at her and forced a weak smile, glancing at the unconscious Trevor, before crawling over to her. He pulled her into a hug and spoke softly into the top of her head, “Sorry it took so long,” he emphasized by squeezing her tighter. 

“Worth the wait,” she said, a tear beginning to well in her eye. She wrapped her arms around him and held on as if her life depended on it. It had felt like days since she’d last seen him, since she saw him on the ground with a bullet having grazed his leg. She shook her head and buried her face deeper in his chest, hoping he could forgive her for turning her back on him again. 

He seemed to sense her unease, and he pulled back slowly, placing one hand on her cheek. Meg pressed her cheek against his palm, happy for the comfort it provided her, before speaking, “Rye… I’m so sorry for everything, I know you won’t want to forgive me, b-but… I hope you can, ‘cause I’ve never meant it so much in my life!” she managed to sputter the last few words before turning her face down to the floor. Ryan lifted her chin up and smiled at her, genuinely and with a sparkle in his eyes that could only be his own tears, “of course I do Meg, I forgive you for everything, but I need you to forgive me too, for all the dumb shit I did as well.” 

“Of course I do,” she managed. 

“Good,” he replied, bending down to give her a small kiss on the lips, before being interrupted by the sound of a knife tearing through flesh. 

“Isn’t that real. Fucking. SWEET!” Trevor roared from behind Ryan, leaning to the side so Meg could see him, his smile wider than she thought was humanly possible. Ryan groaned, but turned swiftly to punch Trevor off of him. He fell with a thud and grasped at the gun, managing to pick it up before Trevor could recover. He aimed the pistol, and emptied an entire clip into Trevor’s head, blood and bits of skull splattered everywhere from the first shot, and every shot after that only succeeded in making a bigger mess. The floor behind Trevor was now painted with his blood. 

Meg breathed a sigh of relief, but was quickly thrust back to the real world when Ryan fell to the floor curling slightly at the pain the stab in his back was causing. He winced when Meg came to him and gingerly touched the edge of the wound. He spit a bit of blood before looking up to meet her gaze. 

“Fuckin’ hurts more than I remember…” 

“Rye, don’t talk! We need to get you out of here, or one of the crew members in here! Where are they?” 

“Don’t know… Probably still a couple minutes out… Left Ash behind when… I rushed in” 

“Dammit Ryan! This is a serious wound, we need a doctor or something!” 

“Yeah… Probably not… Enough time… Anymore” 

“Shut up Rye! You’re living god dammit! Where’s your phone? Or a radio, I need to call the crew!” 

“Phone’s… Home… Radio shot…” 

“Ryan! FUCK, what do we do, I can’t leave you in here!” 

Ryan let out a wheeze that Meg guessed was meant to sound like a laugh, “I’m good… As… Dead,” Ryan gasped, feeling a new wave of pain as he spoke, “Wanted to… Say… Loved you… Meg,” he attempted to breathe sharply, but a cough forced him to stop for a moment. When he caught his breath, he continued, a bit of newfound strength in his tone, “More than anyone, ver… You are the stars… And I am bound to you,” He smiled sweetly when he finished. 

Ryan looked directly at her eyes once more and closed his own eyes, his body going limp. Meg stared silently in horror, then she shook Ryan, gently at first, but more violently the more she refused to believe it. He couldn’t be dead, after everything, surely he couldn’t die? She stopped shaking and looked at his still smiling face, it sat still. She could say nothing and only managed a series of gibberish before she began to weep silently. Ashley ran into the room, her clothing was dirty and torn, and she looked around before settling her eyes on Meg, her body shaking violently with her heavy sobs, she looked down at Ryan, head in her lap, and knew immediately why Meg was crying. Ashley knelt down and put an arm on Meg’s shoulder. Meg didn’t look up at her. She was mourning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And truly, this is the end... That's it! There definitely is no more to the story, anyone who looks at these notes and detects a hint of sarcasm in the words... You're wrong! Our story has ended, and THIS is where it ended, maybe it was a little sad, but we can get through this. After all, since there's no more to the story we can sit down and really think about the decisions that everyone has made in this now finished story! No mas, finis, vraiment la fin! Thank you all for reading, and now you can go and read another story, definitely don't keep tabs on this one, because why would you? It's over! No more chapters, especially not tomorrow, the eighteenth of September!


	7. Chapter 7

# Chapter 7

###  _“You will live…” “You… Will live…” “YOU… WILL… LIVE!” “NO…” “YOU HAVE TO LIVE” -Meg Turney_

Ryan heard the words as clear as day… All of them, Though he had only ever read A Dictionary of Thoughts before. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he had heard mention of one of Wilder’s plays, and Bruce Lee? He was going insane, surely, he had to be, that’s what all this bleak darkness around him had to be. Every word he thought of resonated impossibly in the pitch black around him, as if he had shouted the words themselves, that must have been a sign of his mind deteriorating. All the memories of his past dealings with Meg bubbled up to that surface, and his mind assigned a bleak and seemingly random summary in the form of quotes to each chunk of memory. The last one though… That one was now… But how? He was both living the moment in isolation, and reliving the moment a few seconds later, it felt like his mind was looping between two points in time and simultaneously moving down a conveyor belt, forward through time. His head hurt thinking about it, then a moment later, it hurt again. He focused on the memory of the _‘quote’_ for this chunk of his memory… It was Meg. When had she ever said that to him? He cycled quickly through almost a dozen years of memories, not one instance of the necessity of living came up. But maybe that’s what this insanity was doing to him, every moment from here on could probably only be spent reliving things long past, no new memories, save for the _‘quote’_ from Meg. 

He was insane… This is what it was, no more contact with the world outside his mind, just a prison filled with silly memories. Were they silly though? None of them seemed to stand out as random, they all shared a link, Meg. Were they the happiest moments of his life, and they all just happened to include her? No, he recalled the stab again, that was definitely not a happy memory. So this was just his archive on the time he had spent with Meg then… All the years he had known her. That was the answer, now all that was left to answer, was why he had suddenly gone insane, because surely that’s what happened. 

Focusing intently, and ignoring the painful loop, he tried to push his memory to the very limits of where the bleak shadow had been introduced to his mind. Most of it happened in a rush of adrenaline and worry, before ending on a frame, a _screenshot_ , of Meg’s beautiful eyes. They pierced him lovingly and with the clear glaze of tears. The next frame was darkness. Ryan’s head blanked, he was dead? Or rather, he was dying, this right now, was the final stretch before the light at the end of the tunnel came to swallow him up and condemn him to a life in hell. He slouched a little, feeling shocked more than anything at the idea that he was actually going to die now. 

_This is all that prick, Trevor’s fault,_ he thought, before realizing what he had done, the words echoed in the infinite chamber, and regret settled in as a memory of a gun pressed to Meg’s head played. 

Ryan sat down, or did what he thought best represented sitting in his dying brain, no intrusive thoughts prodded him, but he did wonder how long he had been dying for. If the internet was to be believed, he would have six minutes real time before his brain began to shut down permanently, though in his unconscious mind, it was hard to tell how long it had been. Perhaps sleeping and dying dilated time differently, maybe dying actually slowed time outside of one’s brain, the opposite effects to sleeping. For all he knew it had only been a few seconds out there. 

From the void a voice spoke softly to him, though it was more accurate to say, the words flowed into his mind, _“Are you done yet Ryan?”_

Ryan responded similarly, _“Done with what?”_

_“Oh, I guess it’s possible you don’t even know where you are yet… Don’t worry, I can explain if you wish.”_

_“I mean, I assume I’m dead, but an explanation would be nice anyway.”_

_“Of course Ryan, just give me a moment, I’ve got to brighten up this dreary place you call your mind,”_ a loud clapping sounded in his mind, and a moment later, the darkness was gone and in it’s place was a white floored expanse. The perfect blue sky stretched infinitely in every direction, and soft fluffy looking clouds moved slowly with the non-existent wind. In front of him were two white leather chairs, and a circular coffee table with a glass top, which had frosted glass engravings of beautiful leaves and curls. A man sat in the chair opposite him, he was young looking with beautiful pale skin, almost like platinum, that seemed to glow. The hair on his head was a pale blond, and styled neatly back, the longest of the hairs reaching the nape of his neck. His eyes were gold, not just in color, but they glistened like gold as well. He smiled perfectly at Ryan and motioned for him to take a seat. As he did, the young man’s smile widened, even more than Ryan thought should have been possible. They sat in a moment of somewhat awkward silence before the man spoke up once more. 

_“I take it that you at least know who I am right? You probably figured it out when I basically did the whole ‘let there be light’ bit with my clapping.”_

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_“Well, yeah… And also, seeing that you’re basically a glowing symbol of perfection, was a pretty dead giveaway.”_

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_“Oh well, I graciously accept the compliment Ryan, but now we need to get a little serious, and I know it’s a lot for you to take in right now, but at this point, we have,”_ the man stared at a watch that had not been on his wrist a moment ago before continuing, _“less than two minutes in real time before you get swallowed up by the light. So let’s get started.”_

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_“Okay, so you said my mind is dreary, is this actually my mind?”_

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_“Naturally.”_

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_“And are all those ‘quotes’ really ones that I knew when I was alive?”_

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_“Yes, interestingly enough, I thought it would be nice to have a sort of, summary of what was going on in the chunk of memories, before the brain relived them. And what better way to choose those summaries than with quotes the person already knows? That way, the person has at least some connection to the meaning of the words.”_

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_“But why Brigham Young, why S.D? Who even is S.D?”_

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_“Well, I think you probably learned about Brigham in some sort of study on religions or what have you, honestly I don’t know those kinds of things. And S.D… Hmm, well I suppose that’s one you made up on your own, some deep sub conscious creation of yours that you never gave a proper name, who knows, maybe they don’t even exist past those quotes!”_

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_“So I made some of the quotes up?”_

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_“Well, I definitely know who Brigham Young is, though S.D. seems something entirely you.”_

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_“So you make us all relive specific chunks of our lives and have our own minds assign the summary to the things we are reliving? Does everyone relive the same type of memories, or is it different for everyone? Why doesn’t our entire life flash before our eyes like everyone thinks it does? Most importantly I suppose, why are you talking to me right now, I’m sure thousand of people are dying or dead right now… Why me?”_

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_“I’m God Ryan, do you really think I can’t be in multiple places at once? As for everything else, I suppose the answers are, yes, different, and I want you to be happy at the end. So now, Ryan, I have a decision to make… As you know, you haven’t exactly been the ideal human being throughout the course of your life, and in fact you’ve been quite an awful one. You weren’t exactly what I’d call religious, and of course you actually refused me at points in your life.”_

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_“I-I know, I mean, it’s absolutely true that I’m a terrible person. Are you sending me to Hell?”_

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_“Unfortunately Ryan, of course this is usually the point where people who are opposed to the choice, try and convince me otherwise, if you’d like to take a shot. Keep in mind that all have failed to sway me.”_

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_“No, I-it’s fine I suppose, not really my choice to make.”_

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_“I will say though,”_ God said, staring off behind Ryan, _“You did really love that girl didn’t you? And she loves you. It isn’t everyday that you see someone so committed to bringing their loved one back to life like this.”_

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_“Huh?”_ Ryan turned around to the sight of one of his memories playing behind him, except it wasn’t. He never remembered this one. Meg was staring at him, and her face was stern. Perhaps she was crying, but through the rough haze of his ‘memory’ it was unclear what she was doing or saying. Every now and then, she slammed her fist on the end table nearest her. 

_“Hmm, this is very curious Ryan, seems I may have to rescind my previous judgement…”_

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_“Why’s that?”_

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_“Oh, don’t get me wrong Ryan, you would have gone to Hell today, if it wasn’t for this. Turns out you’re the luckiest man alive, or rather you will be alive.”_

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_“What? How could that be happening?”_

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_“I’d say, your friends are far more competent than even you thought, looks like they managed to stabilize you, gotta admit there weren’t many chances of this happening! Lucky you!”_

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_“But how did they stabilize me in the middle of Trevor’s compound?”_

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_“Oh no Ryan, you’ve been in your base for a few days now, you’ve only just begun dying a few minutes ago. As far as your mind is concerned, nothing's been happening for the past few days.”_

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_“So I didn’t begin dying for a few days after being stabbed? How is that?”_

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_“Blood loss made you pretty weak. Though it obviously didn’t kill you, just weakened you and allowed you to slowly slip down into the realm of death. Well! guess this is goodbye Ryan! Let me just give you a little bit of advice before I go. Be better Ryan, at a lot of things, mostly the whole being a better person thing. Of course, I’d like to see you improve with this whole love thing, you cause a lot of problems being thoughtless, just work on it.”_

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_“Why do you care about my love life?”_

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_“I’m a hopeless romantic! And Ryan, I have a favor to ask of you. Take care of her, she really cares about you, and you could really help set her on a better path, in fact, you both could help each other. Just keep each other safe!”_

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_“Uh sure…”_

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_“See ya Ryan. I hope next time we meet I can tell you that you’ll be joining me in Heaven.”_

Before Ryan could respond, God clapped, and the infinite expanse of Ryan’s mind fell once more into darkness. 

***

Meg was refusing to leave Ryan’s side, it had been almost four days, and in that time Ryan had become stable, though he was still comatose. Nearing the end of the third day, Meg noticed that Ryan was moving, and almost mumbling to himself, she was excited and called for anyone who might still be awake, Ashley and Gavin came. 

“What’s up Meg? Did something happen to Ryan?” 

“Yeah, he’s squirming around a little, and he sounds like he’s mumbling something! Maybe he’s waking up?” Ashley looked solemnly at Meg and then turned her gentle gaze to Ryan, he was still moving a little, but the mumbling was now interspersed between bouts of silence. 

“Meg, maybe you should get some rest, I can stay with Ryan for a bit, and if he wakes up I can come get you,” Ashley offered, taking a step towards the bed. 

“No!” Meg shouted. Her fist had found the end table next to her, she turned her body towards the door of Ryan’s room, “I need to stay with him Ash… I owe him that much… He saved my life.” 

Ashley dropped her eyes to the ground, remembering the night just a few days ago when Ryan had charged alone into Trevor’s hideout, a juggernaut with one task, save Meg. He had succeeded, Meg had lived in spite of Trevor and his unspeakable torture, but of course, Ryan hadn’t gotten away without a scratch. He had been stabbed, and thought dead for a short time, before the rest of the crew showed up and managed to stabilize him on the ride back to their own hideout. Now, here they were, Ryan comatose and Meg by his side, not sleeping and rarely eating. By this time, Meg’s eyes had heavy dark circles beneath them, and her cheeks had a more sunken look to them than they usually did. Before Ashley could insist on taking over for her however, Ryan stirred more intensely. Meg gasped and reached a hand up to caress his cheek. She had very high hopes, and though Ashley couldn’t deny her own, she knew it would be cruel to let her hopes be crushed should Ryan never wake. 

“Meg… Maybe we should talk about Ryan’s current cond-” 

“Meeeeegg…” interrupted Ryan in a soft mumble, barely audible, and just as understandable. 

Everyone paused, and it was Gavin who spoke first, “Ay, is Ryan waking up now?” 

“Gavin,” Ashley said sternly, “this kind of thing happens all the time I’m sure,” though even Ashley could hear the doubt in her voice. 

“This could be it guys!” Meg sang, “It has to be, this is the most he’s done in the three days he’s been like this. He has to be waking up soon!” Of course, their hopes slowly dwindled, and by the time a couple hours had passed, they had returned to their calm demeanor. Ashley and Gavin returned to bed, giving Meg solemn hugs as they did. 

That night, Meg cried for what seemed like the millionth time that week, and for the millionth time that week, she wished things could have been different. 

***

Ryan slowly peered around the room, it was relatively dark still, though a few red rays of dawn found their way through his closed blinds, giving his room a deeply unsettling feel. He couldn’t move, not much anyway, the most he could do was move his arms a bit, and his head. He figured that it had been days since he’d had a proper meal, if he was lucky, his teammates would have at least given him something to drink. Judging by his exhaustion and the pain in his stomach, he figured he hadn’t been lucky… Relatively speaking of course. 

He nudged at the head that was pressed against his arm, he recognized it as Meg’s head, so he nudged it a little bit more, being a little more firm this time. With a start, Meg shot up, casting her eyes to his open door before slumping down and turning to look in Ryan’s direction. She had begun to droop down for more sleep when she stopped suddenly, noticing his open eyes for the first time. 

“Rye...Ryan?” 

“Yeah… ‘s me… sahprise?” 

Meg laughed, a weak little laugh that slowly turned into a joyful crying that made Ryan want to cry as well. As a flood of tears streamed down her face, Ryan nudged her and nodded his head slightly, hoping Meg would just hug him already. Naturally, she understood, quickly embracing him and practically climbing into bed with him. 

“Woooah… careful… hurtsss,” Ryan managed to squeak. 

“Sorry Rye… It’s just that… I’ve really missed you, and I need to apologize for so many things Ryan! And I know I’ve done a lot of bad things, and I know you probably won’t forgive me. I know that there’s a lot of things we need to talk about… But right now, I’m just so happy that you’re alive!” Meg said hurriedly, backing away so Ryan could see her face. 

“We can… We ‘ill tok…” Ryan said. He took a deep breath and continued, hoping he’d be more coherent, “We’ll talk… Meg, don’ be sorry… I love you… Nothing to forgive.” 

“Ryan… I… Well, I guess, I love you!” Meg said, still crying. She laughed a little and bent down to kiss Ryan sweetly on the lips. He returned the kiss as best he could, breaking apart only to breathe. He found a new strength in Meg’s admission. He smiled now as well, and he reached down to squeeze Meg’s hand as tightly as he could. He loved her, and as he looked up into her beautifully pale blue eyes, he remembered everything, everything they had ever been through together and everything they had been through apart. Decidedly, it was better when he had her in his life, and from here on, he knew he could count on her to stay. After all, she loved him back, and here she was, by his side. 

He gathered his strength and forced himself up onto one elbow. Meg looked at him with a worried expression, “are you sure that’s a good idea Ryan?” 

He could only smile at that for a moment, before pulling her in for one more, deep and loving kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, who could've seen this update coming? Fooled you all into thinking it was over I'm sure! Anyway, this is truly it, a short ending but one I'm proud of. Thanks to everyone who read the story, and I hope you'll stick around to see what else I cook up in my head. Who knows, I've got and idea or two for a prequel!


End file.
